It's been a little while since my last life update. Things get busy and health struggles are hard and I honestly just don't always have the words to share what it's been like over the past couple years. Something that stays on my mind so often though is this verse in 1 Thessalonians, "In every thing give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you."
In EVERY thing give thanks? That's something I admittedly struggle with not just doing but at times even wrapping my mind around. When I'm only responding with my flesh and focusing on my circumstances anyway. But when I take a step back and look at it from a spiritual perspective and ask God to really help me see how blessed we are regardless of what we are going through, oh how things change. Or my attitude towards thing changes at least and that makes all the difference.
The past couple weeks have been rough(er). Moving again, health issues flared up severely, trying to find a new church, being consistent with schooling, financial struggles, and just every day life stuff. Let's just say that remembering to still give thanks in the middle of it all has been a challenge. One that some days seemed more of a duty than truly heart felt. And I fall into the attitude of thinking that of course it's not wrong to feel discontent with how things are! Who could be thankful for all this? And my focus is completely on the bad with no thought for any blessings, which obviously is not a good place to be.
Then at the same time we are seeking God's will for our lives and sometimes doubting and questioning if we know what that looks like or if we are truly "getting it right". But then I read an article like this and it convicts me and reminds me of that verse all over again. And I go back to read it one more time. Only to find that not only do I have so much I should be giving thanks to the Lord for, but that is exactly how I can be in His will right now!
I'm not belittling what us and many other families are going through, some with way worse trials than ours(like the article above). I truly believe it's okay to be real about struggles because that's needed too so that we don't all feel alone in hard times. But at the same time I don't want to get hung up there and completely neglect to still give thanks.
Because the truth is, God is good. And every day that we are alive is due to His mercy and grace. If He never gave another gift or blessing to me besides just the fact that He gave His own Son to die for my sins and saved me from hell, that's enough to give thanks for. In spite of the hardships in life.
And just like the woman in the Bible, who begged Jesus to help her daughter even though she was just a Gentile "dog", He gives way, way more to us than just the crumbs off the table. He never leaves us, never forsakes us, and always provides exceedingly, abundantly more than we can ask or even think. It doesn't mean there aren't trials, but only that He is with us through them. And that He's leaving handfuls of blessings on purpose if we take time to get close enough and look for them. And He wants us to take time to thank and praise Him for that!
I'm going to wrap this post up with those thoughts, but next time I plan to be more specific on things I've found to give thanks for during these hard times. I hope this was an encouragement to someone and that you'll join me....
Tyra
Looking back over the past year and more of our lives the main word that comes to mind is changes. We've moved 4 times in various ways and distances since last March. Lived in a camper for 6 of those months in 2 different places, with me taking care of the kids during the week and Blake only able to come where we were on weekends. Then a more major move to the ocean in hopes of helping with health issues, especially Daxton's skin. Our rental only lasted thru the winter months so we just made another move down the road and are finally getting settled in again. (although if you're wondering about visiting we do have a serious lack of furniture at the moment!:) Mixed in with all those moves were trying all kinds of treatments and doctors, dealing with the overwhelming issues that go along with us detoxing and just feeling rotten a lot of the time, job interviews, visiting churches, making and saying goodbye to new and old friends, struggling with financial worries, and just trying to adjust to all the craziness that had become our "normal". Needless to say, our emotions were forever changing as much as the things in our every day lives.
But thankfully in the middle of it all is a God who never changes. He has shown us time and again that His promise to never leave us or forsake us is true, even when in our storms we may not always feel like He's there. Yes, some lots of days are still hard and to be honest we are all tired and would like more stability in many areas. But He's teaching me to trust Him in spite of it all and also showing us that His ways are not our ways and that just maybe there is a bigger picture and plan for all this that we can't see yet. Do we always have unshakeable faith that it's all going to be ok? No, not really. Not every day. But one of my prayers the past couple months has been Lord, I believe but help my unbelief! I truly want to learn to look for the good that He is working for us in all of this rather than questioning or being bitter over how bad it has been and still is. And He never fails to send us a little something here and there to encourage me when I'm at my lowest! (like someone secretly buying our meal at a restaurant, a friend who reaches out with scripture or a song, an unexpected love offering, family that prays and helps out, and even showing us a house to rent just a few days before we had to move)
So even though this past year+ has definitely brought about many changes with all their highs and lows, one thing I still am sure of.... God is faithful. No matter what. And that really is enough.
Tyra
So obviously it's been a while since I've blogged, y'all. And the main reason is that we really have been exactly what the name of this blog says.....but without the play on words. I thought it was about time to share a little of what that has looked like though, so hopefully I can get the general idea across in this post. If not, I may or may not do another later. No promises there since we will probably be dealing with the whole "at our wits' end" thing still. Anyhow, here goes....
As mentioned in my last post here we have figured out that this area is a huge source of environmental issues for us and our health. Not going to try and go into a lot more detail as to the "whys" at the moment other than just to say that chemical toxins, mold allergies, and even geographical layouts (we found out we live on top of a water table) can and do affect your quality of life greatly. Add all that to some already pre-determined genetic problems which make us more sensitive to some things and you've got some pretty major health stuff going on. Now you may be asking what that looks like on a day to day basis or even what we are doing about it and that's what I'm planning to write about tonight.
First of all, for our youngest (who has been hit the hardest obviously because of his age/size) it still means chronic, daily pain and itching all over his body, very restless and often interrupted sleep for several hours at night, welps, sores, eczema, swelling, stomach issues, and well the list could go on and on. Needless to say, for a 2 year old going through all of that and more, it. is. bad.
For the rest of us, we tend to have various reactions and/or health problems related to the things we're exposed to here but of course they aren't quite as severe or hard to deal with as his. But to be honest, my own have gotten a good bit worse in the past couple months and when you consider being the mom who is trying to handle everyone else's issues plus her own, not to mention the every day stuff around the house then it can be pretty rough sometimes. Between myself and the older 3 kids we've had migraines, stomach issues, skin problems(rashes, eczema, etc), chronic pain, extreme fatigue, dizziness, itching, swelling/breathing issues, insomnia, and random other things that seem to be related. Once again, not an exhaustive list but that is the general things that crop up on a daily/weekly basis for some or all of us.(Blake's issues are less often or sometimes obvious but still there as well) Suffice it to say, it's exhausting both physically and emotionally. Oh, and I almost forgot to mention that we just found out the chemicals can work as hormone disruptors as well. That explained a lot of things but wasn't exactly good news. Fun times.
Now on to the what we are doing about it part. Well, the things is....there isn't a medicine out there to actually treat you for exposure to environmental toxins. In fact, since a lot of it is chemical based or due to mold, fungus, etc then most western medicine only makes it worse. At the very least, it would be a poor attempt at covering up the symptoms rather than getting to the root of the problem and at worst it will greatly exacerbate the symptoms. (care to guess which category we fall in??) We've searched long and hard for doctors and practitioners to help us figure out what's wrong and are still trying new treatments and supplements to help our bodies heal and get strong again (especially Daxton), but the main conclusion we've come to is that moving is obviously the only real answer at this point. I don't really have time to go into all about what trying to get a house up for sale, pack, find a new job (since this ENTIRE area has crop farming), and everything else a total move and life change is like when you're health and that of your kids is in total shambles. Let's just say it stinks and is pretty much impossible to do and leave it at that. Yeah.
But wait, I can't really leave it there because that sounds completely hopeless and while some days I have to admit do feel that way I know deep down that it's not. Has it been a rough past few months? Yes. Are things looking better and we know exactly how they will work out in the next few weeks? No. (side note, I don't think I mentioned that we need to be moved asap since they are starting up the crop farming again. In February. Which means more poisonous chemicals in our already sick bodies. Lovely.) BUT, God has proven faithful in our lives time and again and I know that this time won't be any different. We are praying hard for direction, wisdom, and open doors and are slowly but surely seeing change happen, even though it doesn't look exactly like we would like. I don't know what the immediate future holds and sometimes my fears and worries over our chronic issues and how bad they are and how much longer they could last overwhelm me, but I'm choosing to trust tonight that it's gonna be okay. (You may have to remind me of that tomorrow when I have a baby boy with sores and welps and skin irritations who is scratching uncontrollably and screaming my name for help at the top of his lungs, in spite of all I'm doing to try and make it better. My mama heart is made of flesh after all and that's a little more than anyone can stand for days on end. Just sayin'.) But in the end, that's all any of us can really do, right? Try our best to make good decisions for our lives, within God's will according to the Bible, and then leave the rest up to Him. I have to admit though that living by faith is sometimes a much easier song to sing than it is to actually put into practice. Only through His grace. Always.
Since this has already turned out to be a pretty long post, I'll end with that and also asking you all to pray for our family as we travel this road of sickness and hopefully big changes over the next few weeks or months. Obviously we aren't the only ones faces problems or hard times but they are still there and still real for us and we can use all the prayers for strength we can get! I'm not sure how long it will be until the next update but I'm determined for it to be a good report whenever it comes. Until then, we'll still be hanging out here at our "Whits" end. :-) Thanks so much for stopping by and reading. We would love to hear from you in the comments!
Tyra
I see a lot of blog posts about things you need (or don't) when having a baby. Some of them are good and useful, but somewhat based on the assumption that your baby will be the eat, sleep, change, basically non-fussy type of child. If in fact you find yourself with one who is slightly more challenging to care for than that, then this post is for you! (by the way, I really don't like the phrase "is he/she a "good" baby?".....while some babies definitely require more care than others for various reasons that in no way makes them "bad". Just sayin'.) Ok, so moving on, here in no apparent order are some items or tricks that we've found extremely helpful when dealing with all 4 of our kiddos. Oh, and for the record, our first one cried way more than he slept. Literally. And our other 3 haven't been too far behind that so let's just say we have lots of experience with fussiness around here. ;-)
Skipping over the rather obvious necessities like diapers, wipes, and clothing.....this is some of our favorite go-to stuff when getting ready for another little one:
Exercise ball: nope, this isn't to get mom back in shape after the birth (although it kind of has that added benefit) but it IS perfect for bouncing a crying baby to sleep. Or just bouncing period if they need soothing like all of ours did. Trust me, you will quickly become a pro at it if the need arises! (as a side note, when our first was born we didn't know of this little trick and used a straight back wooden chair to bump back in forth in for soothing. Yes, you did read that right. Our carpet had permanent indentions afterwards. You do what you gotta do, you know?)
White noise: this can be water running from a faucet, the vacuum cleaner, a blow-dryer, a noise machine, OR best of all this great website/app that we found with child #3. I kid you not, y'all, this really works not only to help the babies calm down but also to drown out other noise as well so if they ever do eventually go to sleep then they won't get woke right back up. I've spent many days bouncing and listening to this as loud as it would go. Yes, it can get a little annoying after awhile but it is way better than a screaming baby. Trust me.
Probiotics: this is something we didn't know about with our first 2 but that has been great for the last ones. Our babies are born with huge stomach/digestion issues (which is probably where a lot of the crying comes from) so giving them these help to soothe that. Here's the brand we like best which has even been proven in a medical study to help with colic. You can find it online or at several pharmacies and health food stores as well.
Pacifier: I know there are different opinions on this and that's fine! Everybody has to do what works for them or decide what their own preference is. For us, we love pacis around here! Our babies with all their health issues/pain just need some extra soothing and pacis seem to help them so much. There are all different kinds and it may take a little while to figure out which one works best for each baby so don't give up if they don't seem to like a particular one at first!
Those are my top favs for things to do with fussy babies, but here's a few more things we also used with some or all of them that helped with reflux/stomach/allergy issues: colic calm gripe water, chiropractor adjustments, homeopathics, essential oils, propping a contour pillow sideways on a regular one....the baby lays in the contour and can't roll over and is at an angle to help them not choke as bad too! Genius, huh?
That's about all I can think of at the moment. I'm sure there are more things we tried but after a year or more you tend to forget stuff from lack of sleep. haha Hope this helps someone else who may find themselves at a loss for what to do with an overly fussy baby. The hardest thing can be feeling like no one really understands so let me just assure you that you are not alone! On top of all of this my babies also all eventually ended up on special formula, they all had tons of allergies and reflux, there was more than one day that I cried right along with them because I didn't know what else to do, and it just took time, patience, flexibility and lots of help to make it through it. So hang in there! You can do this.
If there's anything you would add that worked for you please feel free to do so in the comments! Or if you are going through the sick and crying baby phase at the moment and just need to vent then by all means do so. We will totally get it and not judge at all. I promise. :-)
Tyra
(linked up over here at My Joy-Filled Life and here at A Wise Woman Builds Her Home)
