9 Month Cutie!

This little munchkin is growing like a weed these days! Going from sitting up to scooting around on his tummy to crawling and trying to pull up.....he is definitely on the go! Jabbering in sweet baby talk and learning to say his first words (mama, daddy, and hi are the main ones we've heard so far) is the cutest thing ever. He loves to smile and laugh at everyone and never fails to melt our hearts with his sweetness.

He's finally able to tolerate a few solids, although our attempts to change from the special formula haven't gone very well yet. We are thankful for every bit of nutritional stuff we can give him though! Two teeth have broken through after months of teething symptoms. An amber necklace and Hyland's teething tablets are favs around here. He sleeps better than our other babes at this age but still wakes up about every 4-5 hours to eat. With his allergies and stomach issues that is great to us! (even though yes we are tired sometimes....just keepin' it real;)

So thankful for this baby boy that God has blessed us with. He is such a joy and we are loving watching him turn into his own little personality every day. Although it's a little sad to see him becoming less and less of a baby, it's also exciting to look forward too all the fun in the future!  

6 Month Old Update!

It is absolutely unbelievable that our little man is half a year old already!! The past 6 months have just flown by. We've had good days, bad days, crazy days, easy days, and I guess about every other kind in between. But they have all been absolutely positively blessed with him as a part of our family! It's amazing how looking back after adding another baby in our lives we can't even imagine not having them now. And we definitely feel that way about Daxton Judah! Here's a picture of this cutie pie who is growing up way too fast, then I'll share some of what he's been up to lately....

 

~ He loves to be talked to and is always ready with a big smile and laugh.

 

~ Every time he laughs hard he gets the hiccups. Every. time.

 

~He can roll over but hates being on his stomach so hardly ever does. If we put him on his stomach he ends up getting mad and crying so I don't very much. (all 4 of our kids have been like that so maybe it's a pain thing?) 

 

~ Manages to scoot on his back all over the place when I put him under his toy on the floor. It may be a little while before he tries crawling since he doesn't like tummy time but it doesn't look like that's going to stop him from getting around!

 

~ Pretty sure he's ready to eat solids but I'm putting off giving them to him because it is so challenging with allergies and stomach issues and I'm already overwhelmed with health stuff right now.

 

~ He takes a 5-6 oz bottle (of $10 per can Nutramigen formula with probiotics, fermented cod liver oil, olive oil, and occasional coconut oil added in) every 2&1/2 to 3 hours. It still bothers me that I can't breastfeed (for both emotional and health reasons) but he's worth every single dollar we spend on trying to give him what's best for him right now.

 

~ He tries to sit up but doesn't have great control yet and ends up falling over pretty quickly.

 

~ He's wearing 6-9 months clothes already, although I still squeeze him in a couple smaller things sometimes because I'm still in denial that he's getting this big! lol

 

~ He's the best sleeper of all 4 kids so far but still isn't very consistent with his naps or night time sleep yet. But we aren't really surprised by that fact and are grateful for how good he actually does compared to some of our other experiences. (you'd have to understand how extremely bad sleepers our babies/kids are to know what that means really) Let's just say if you have a baby who sleeps well it is not something to be taken for granted!

 

~ He already has obvious allergies to things and has reactions to various triggers pretty often. Once again, not totally surprising but definitely disappointing and more than a little discouraging.

 

~ Loves to bounce on the exercise ball and it's our go-to way of getting him to sleep or settle down from a crying spell. Could be worse things I guess.....I manage to get my daily work out in at the same time this way. Ha!

 

~ Is a total sweetheart who never fails to make me smile even on my worst days!  

 

Happy 6 month old day to our baby boy. We are more thankful than I can say for the gift he has been to us!

 

(linked up with My Joy-Filled Life)

Rather Overdue Update {with some keeping it real randomness too}

With all of the craziness life has provided us the past few weeks blogging quickly went way down on the list of priorities.  But I know some of you have wondered if we're still alive and kicking so I'm gonna try to do a quick update on how things are going around here. I'll probably be sharing the good, bad, and everything else in between. With lots of honesty thrown in for good measure. {deep breath} Here goes...........

~ I can't believe Daxton turned 2 months old last week. Sometimes it seems impossible that it's been that long since he was born and other times it seems much, much longer.

~ To answer the question of whether he has allergies/health issues like the other 3, the short one would be yes. Not as bad in some ways but enough that he requires a lot of extra care and it's pretty impossible to take him out anywhere.

~ Although determined to make breastfeeding work this time around, it just didn't. Without going into tons of details we made the hard decision for me to stop around 3 weeks. And I still struggle with it. Lots.

~ For those who have never experienced life with a sick baby or one who for whatever reason just struggles with not sleeping, hurting a lot, crying, etc it can be difficult to understand what it's like. But please believe me when I say it is one of the hardest things  ever to deal with. It leaves you feeling tired, hopeless, discouraged, frustrated, and with any other number of emotions you can probably imagine. Multiply all that with the fact I've experienced it 4 times over and you know exactly what I've been feeling the past few weeks.

~ Don't get me wrong. Not every day is as bad as some. And not every minute of those days' are either. I'm thankful more than I can say for every good time of him sleeping while laying down or just being able to lay for a few minutes without hurting and crying. I'm doubly grateful that in comparison to 2 of the others he doesn't cry constantly for hours on end regardless of what we do. That may sound crazy but it's true.

~ The older kiddos are struggling to adjust to this "new normal" since Daxton requires so much care, which of course means they get very little a lot of days. The most heartbreaking thing I've ever felt was Darcey grabbing me around the legs while I was holding a crying Daxton and saying, "I miss you, momma." Let's just say that Daxton wasn't the only one crying after that! Once again, every single day isn't that way but the ones that are tend to be rather difficult.

~ On a lighter note, Daxton has grown like crazy and is so big already! He has been wearing 3 months size clothes for a few weeks now (and even a couple 6 mths things) and size 2 diapers as well. From all appearances he looks perfectly healthy and is seriously a happy, fun baby when not in pain or feeling bad. Love seeing his sweet smile and hearing him "talk" and laugh out loud! 

~ We hadn't been able to figure out who exactly he looks like until I found an old baby picture of Blake I didn't realize we had. It is the spitting image of him! I can't wait to see if that will change or if he'll stay a daddy look-alike when he's older.

~ Once again a big part of our days tend to be spent on an exercise ball since bouncing seems to settle Daxton down the best. As tiresome as it can get sometimes it is hands down better than some of the stuff we tried with the first 2.....before we knew an exercise ball would work! Some other things that come in handy these days are Colic Calm, various homeopathics for allergies and stomach issues, probiotics, a bouncing seat, the swing (sometimes), chiropractic visits, propping him up to sleep(when he's able to lay down), and chocolate. Lots of chocolate. Oh, wait, that's for me not him! lol

~ I'm beyond thankful that Blake is so good at helping out, both with the baby and around the house. I would definitely not be able to to make it without his help! My parents, especially my mom, have also been great at giving us a break, bringing food, or taking the older kids out places since we can't. I would probably be out of my mind (um, more than I am normally?! haha) if I'd had to do everything on my own since Daxton was born.

Okay, so I'm sure there's more I could write but my tired brain has thought of all it can at the moment. Let me just add that although there have been some dark, hard days for me in the past few weeks, I know that most of all it's been God's grace that has brought me through it. And even in the midst of all my questions and doubts and yes sometimes anger, at the way things are....He's been faithful. Prayers for grace and strength are still appreciated for the future. And wisdom for the decision about all of our health issues. It's hard not to worry and just trust that things will be okay, but I know that's the best thing to do so I'm trying extra hard to learn how! Now I'm really done for now. Hopefully I'll get back to blogging more often one of these days. Until then just know that life in 4-D is never dull for sure! :-) Oh, and enjoy this photo of our newest little cutie....

Daxton's Birth Story {part 3}

(to read part's 1 and 2 first click here and here!)

On with the rest of the story.......

We watched as the sun came up and it was such a beautiful morning! It was so neat to be on the farm in the middle of all the sounds of Creation and know I was having the privilege of bringing one of God's greatest creations into the world soon. I decided to go ahead and ask Linda to check me around 6:20 to see what was going on so we would know if my parents needed to start that way with the kids or if it would be a while longer. I was pleasantly surprised to find out I was dialated to about 7.5 and the baby's head was, well, about as low as it can get without actually being born! The contractions were still somewhat irregular and strong but not terribly painful. (don't hate me, I totally make up for it at the end. ha!) She said it would probably happen within the next couple of hours though so I went ahead and called my parents to come and decided to wake up Blake so he would know.

I just kept walking around or sitting depending on how I felt at the moment. It felt so unreal that I would be pushing soon since I wasn't really feeling all that different yet. The rest of the family arrived around 8 I think and the contractions got a little stronger not too long after that although still only about 5 minutes apart. (they didn't stay that regular all morning though and had just gotten that close again) It was so nice to be able to see the other kids for a few minutes. I think it helped them and me both to be reassured that everyone was okay and excited about the new baby!

It was about 8:30 when I felt a little pushy with a couple contractions so I asked Linda to check me again to make sure my body was really ready. She said that it was so close that me just taking my time with some slow pushes would stretch things the rest of the way by the time the baby was actually ready to come out. It was a little strange for me doing it that way but also nice to just kind of ease into the hardest part at the end I think. My water had still not broken at this point so that's what was coming out first with the head right behind. I lost track of how many times I pushed but it seemed like it was taking forever since the contractions were slower at this stage than with my other births. It obviously wasn't, as Andrea laughingly pointed out when I said it, and when I looked at the clock I realized a lot of time really hadn't passed yet since I first started! It also wasn't terribly painful yet and I was able to still carry on a conversation pretty well while resting in between pushes which was so different than the other times as well.

I had chosen to try sitting on the birth stool they had which is sort of a squatting position and it definitely seemed more comfortable than anything else at the moment to me. I finally started feeling a lot more pressure when pushing and Linda told me the baby was getting close to coming out. She reminded me to just relax and also to try and listen to them on pushing slowly so hopefully I wouldn't tear. I was holding on and supporting myself on the sides of the chair and she also had to keep telling me to relax my arms after each push. No wonder I had such sore muscles afterwards! The bag of waters came out and burst on the push right after that at 8:57. All those painless contractions didn't mean a thing at this point cause I started thinking I was going. to. die. if I couldn't finish pushing him out. Now! I know everyone has either heard about or maybe even felt the "ring of fire" but I am pretty sure I had a whole furnace going on in there for a couple minutes. Seriously.

I'm not sure what you would call the sounds coming out of me either but I did try to work on making sure it was the low, (albeit very loud) moaning sounds that actually accomplish something rather than just screaming my head off and not really pushing. Pretty sure I almost have it perfected by this 4th time around, although after watching the video I did realize I let a couple screams slip out after all. But, hey, I figured it was perfectly understandable after finding out how much he weighed, right?? Ha! Enough of this though. Back to having that baby!

I waited (very impatiently) for the next contraction to hit and immediately started to push. I really tried to listen as Linda encouraged me to go slowly while she and Andrea helped stretch things but it was so hard to do. After what felt like forever (but in reality was probably less than a minute) I was just like, I have to push and get him out! To which she replied okay and after one more push there he was!! (the official time of birth was 8:59) So relieved to not feel all that burning pain and pressure any more. His cord was wrinkled up and seemed short at first so we could only put him on top of my legs. I can't even begin to describe the feelings that I had at that moment. I remember looking up at Blake and saying, I did it! It was just so amazing to finally be holding him after all that hard work of him getting here. I was totally exhausted but thrilled at the same time!

We moved onto the bed and his cord relaxed enough so that I could put him on my stomach. I was able to cover up while waiting for the cord to stop pulsing and the placenta to deliver so that everyone else could come in and look at him for the first time. I loved that all the other kids could be there so close by to experience it with us! (although they did go outside for the last couple minutes of pushing so they didn't have to hear momma holler! lol) Linda and Andrea were fabulous caregivers and stayed so calm during the entire process which was such a help to me. The whole experience was truly wonderful from start to finish and I am beyond thankful to have been blessed with such a great birth.

God answered so many prayers in that it was a much better time than some of my other births. Also, I had very little tearing and not too much bleeding so that was a blessing as well. We enjoyed just taking it easy for awhile and letting things just take their own time. He was able to nurse right away before getting weighed and measured. (there on the bed beside me!) After us all spending some time together my parents headed home with the kids while Blake and I got some lunch and rested a little more there. I took a shower after that and then we ended up coming home around 5 that evening. It was so nice to be at our own house in our own bed that same night!

I am so grateful not only for a safe, healthy labor and delivery for us both, but also that the experience was even better than I could have hoped for! And of course the best blessing of all is just the privilege of having another baby added to our family. We are so happy to have our little Daxton here at last and are already totally in love with our precious boy! Can't wait to enjoy watching him grow, but for now for some pictures of that day......


                                    
          (sitting in the rocking chair since I couldn't sleep)

 

               (Blake catching some zzzz's while we wait)

 

(walking around after finding out I was 7.5 cm)

 

                (getting ready to try pushing on hands and knees)

 

               (decided I was more comfortable on the birthing stool)

 

                 (sweet relief and happiness over him being here)

 

(love at first sight. best feeling ever.)

 

                       (first family picture with the 4-D's)

 

                  (having his first check-up, he was perfect of course!)

 

                     (the big sister helping put his first diaper on!)

 

(first snuggles with grandma)

 

                                   (one of my awesome midwives, Andrea)

 

(Linda is such an amazing midwife! We just love her.)

 

(ready to go home)

 

(so glad to be here!)

 

The End!

 

*just as an interesting little tidbit, he was born on the 26th which was actually my own original guess date figured by date of conception before seeing the doctor. kinda neat, huh?*

 

 

Daxton's Birth Story {part 2}

*If you haven't read part 1 yet then click here!*

And now for some more of the story......

Woke up on Saturday and decided to go to town for a few things I hadn't gotten yet. I figured it would keep my mind off of the fact I still wasn't in active labor and the walking around couldn't hurt either! Also went for a massage at a walk-in place in the mall (which is awesome by the way if you live locally and have never been!) which felt so good to my sore, tired body. Pretty sure I almost nodded off a few times while she was massaging my feet. But, hey, I was a sleep deprived pregnant lady so I figured they would understand. lol Had a few contractions off and on that evening but nothing that seemed much different than before. At this point I was beginning to wonder if I would be able to tell the difference or the baby would eventually just drop low enough to be ready to come out without me ever having harder, regular contractions?! Ha!

Ended up going to bed to try and get some rest but kept waking up when I would have a contraction and felt uncomfortable enough to not really sleep well. I was still uncertain about whether it was the beginning of actual labor though since I'd already done this several times before! I finally got out of bed and stayed up for a little while trying to get a feel for what was going on. After about an hour or so I really felt like that even though they were irregular that these were doing something and would probably eventually get stronger and closer instead of stopping. I woke Blake up to let him know and called my mom about coming down to stay with the kids. I figured it would be best to drive to the birth house before things got more serious instead of it being so hectic while riding.

By the time my parents arrived and we were ready to go the contractions had gotten about 5 minutes apart but still not terribly painful. (which is the norm for me it seems) We were gonna let the kids just sleep awhile and go see how much progress was being made before them coming down so they wouldn't be so tired from waking up in the middle of the night. I waited to call the midwife after we left so she could rest as much as possible too. I think in the back of my mind I was still worried this wasn't really it so I didn't want to get everyone out of bed any sooner than I had to! We headed out and got there around 4 am I think. (the times have all kinda run together at this point)

It was dark and quiet at the house and the midwife, Linda, had started some coffee in the kitchen so it smelled good too. We chatted for a few minutes and she assured me she felt this was the real thing, but said I should just settle in for a little while before being checked or anything. It was nice to just relax and know that I was already there whenever things got going more quickly. We both actually laid down on the bed (where Blake quickly fell asleep) but the contractions were still just close enough and hard enough to make actual sleeping impossible for me. The other midwife, Andrea, arrived (with her 9 month old son!) so we all just sat around talking, with me occasionally walking some during contractions. I was drinking water and had an energy bar as well to keep my strength up. Just one more thing to love about delivering there! It was amazing how calm and relaxed I felt, even in the middle of active labor. And little did I know things were about to get even more active pretty soon.....

*stay tuned for part 3 with the end of the story and pictures!*

Daxton's Birth Story {part 1}

After weeks (quite literally) of anticipation over meeting our little guy, I'm so happy to finally be able to share an actual birth story with you all! Here are all the details of his grand arrival....

As most of you already know my labor was rather strange this time, with us thinking that from all the signs he would actually be born early. Needless to say once contractions and other symptoms dragged on for days (or more specifically weeks) I was more than a little tired and frustrated with not knowing when it was really going to happen! There were so many times it seemed like actual labor had finally set in only to have it gradually slow down a few hours later, leaving me in an almost constant state of exhaustion since it happened alot at night. Not to mention more than a little sore!

Went on like that until my "official" guess date that we were going by which was the 23rd. I was due for a check-up on the same day if I hadn't had him yet so we had discussed me just coming in later in the evening and doing some things to help labor along possibly. I was already contracting a good bit again and figured some oils, herbs, etc just might be what I needed to get things going! Blake and I drove up and stayed a few hours while trying a couple things the midwives recommended. We ended up going out to Wal-mart but having to come back because my contractions got so strong and close together with all the walking after taking the herbs and rubbing oil on my stomach. But after thinking this was really going to be the day they once again got further apart and didn't really do a lot beyond me dialating 1/2 a centimeter after all that time. We decided to just go home and wait it out. Again. I was so tired of it all but also so determined to just let him come when he was good and ready!

On Friday I was worn out and hurting a lot from the day before so just tried to take it easy around the house. Still hoping that things would get started for real before long. I actually ended up not having too many contractions that day though and went to bed discouraged over feeling so bad with no end results of a baby in sight. I just kept thinking that if I got any more tired that I wouldn't have enough strength to even labor well, much less feel like taking care of a newborn afterwards! But since I was dialated to about a 4 and his head was very far down before leaving on Thursday I knew something surely had to happen in the near future so I tried to remember that and keep my hopes up. That was sometimes easier said than done though, of course. Y'all know how those pregnancy hormones and emotions can be!

Okay, sorry to leave you hanging but since this is already a long post I'll have to finish the story later. :-)

*Stay tuned for the rest of the story soon!*


 

He's Finally Here!

For those of you who haven't heard yet, we welcomed our baby boy into the world this past weekend! Proudly introducing......

                                    Daxton Judah
                              08-26-12 @ 8:59 am
                              9 lbs 1 oz, 22 inches

 

(birth story to come soon hopefully.....after we get more rest and snuggles)

No News Is......

....not always good news! At least not around here the past few days. :-( I'm seriously trying to keep my spirits up and not be too discouraged but it's been a little hard. Let me back up and give a few details though. 

Thursday was a midwife checkup, which went pretty well overall and let us know I'm definitely making progress with some of these contractions. In fact, the midwife said she thinks it will go very quickly once things set it and even coached Blake on what to do if we ended up needing to deliver on the way! (I wasn't sure if I should be amused, excited, or scared to death! haha)

From the checkup, Blake and I had decided to drive to a car lot in Franklin, TN to look at vans for sale. We ended up choosing to sale our old one and get something new and really wanted to have that done before the baby came. Needless to say it was a loooong day but thankfully we were able to get a good deal on a vehicle!

My parents were planning to watch the kids for the day and do something fun while we were gone. The girls had both showed signs of what I thought was allergies for a couple days before that and with the weed pollen count high around here I figured that's all it was. Delancey had seemed a little worse that morning but still wanted to go and I assumed she would clear up as the day went on like she had been. By that night they were both worse though and she even had a fever! Ugh. The rest of us have slowly come down with sore throats, sneezing, congestion, headaches, fever, etc ever since so it's definitely not been fun around here.

I just woke up with it during the night on top of having some really strong contractions since yesterday evening. Let's just say that sleep isn't something I'm getting alot of these days. I had been thinking that maybe it was a good thing Daxton hasn't come yet since it would be nice not to have sick kiddos with a new baby in the house. But I have to admit that me getting sick too wasn't really something I wanted or needed right now!

My contractions are still irregular most of the time but getting much harder, so along with all the other signs I've had I know it can't be much longer. I still can't believe how long I've been having this prelabor stuff and to be honest it's getting more than a little old. Being so tired though and not knowing how long it's going to take for us all to get over this cold (or whatever it is), it's hard not to be stressed with it all. Prayers would definitely be appreciated for quick healing for all of us, strength for me as the baby gets ready to get here, and for me to trust that God has it all under control. Especially when I feel like everything is just falling apart!

Okay, so there's my not so great update for the week. :-/ Hopefully I will have much better news to report soon, but until then please keep us in your prayers! Being almost 40 weeks pregnant, sick, constantly dealing with irregular contractions that could turn into the real thing any time, and taking care of 3 sick kiddos is just a little overwhelming right now. I know God is able to give me grace though and all of this too shall pass eventually.

Linking up with Sarah again at My Joy-Filled Life. Be sure to click through to see how all the other pregnant momma's are doing!

                                 

Hanging in There!

Well, y'all, I've gotta say that it seems crazy for a whole week to have passed since the goings on last Saturday. And still NO baby!! To be honest I am tired and a little discouraged with it all (since I'm having at least one spell every day or night that seems like it's gonna be the real thing, including over 3 hours of hard contractions last night that got 3 minutes apart!), but I'm still determined to just wait this little guy out and let him come when he's ready. After all, we made it 11 days over my guess date with Darcey so I'm pretty sure I can make it a few more this time. :-)

If I was guessing I would probably say I don't think it'll be quite that much longer this time, but then again there's no sure way of knowing these kinds of things! I'm definitely having all of the signs of early labor though so the good thing about that is hopefully things will go super quick once the active phase kicks in. My biggest challenge has been not getting any rest but we are focusing on taking some natural stuff and doing things to help me sleep and the past couple  of nights have been a little better in that area. It will nice to not be so worn out for when I do deliver! The other thing that I think may be effecting things is he seems to be flipping from anterior to posterior position a lot, which seems to cause the contractions to start or stop at certain times. Trying to stay on my hands and knees and rubbing essential peppermint oil on my lower back to encourage him to stay in the right place.(yes, it actually does work!) Hopefully he will do so when it's time to actually have him. I'm not too keen on delivering another "sunny side up" baby this time like I did on #2! Ouch!

As for other stuff, the uti/kidney infection looks totally cleared up. (yay!) My blood sugar is still challenging but manageable as long as I'm careful with what I eat. Everything else seems to be doing well, other than just not knowing why my uterus is contracting so much every day. There could be lots of explanations for that though so probably something we won't be able to figure out for sure. It can be annoying and I am super sore a lot of the time, but I'm just trying to not let it get me too discouraged. Which I accomplish better some days than others for sure!

Here's a picture of me Thursday at my 38 week checkup. In all my big belly glory! Please keep praying for health and strength for us both and that I'll just keep hanging in there until it's time for this little guy to make his grand entrance! After last weekend I'm wondering how he's ever going to manage a more dramatic one?! lol Maybe my next update will be that he's finally here. One can always hope anyway. :-)

*linking up with Sarah at My Joy-Filled Life again....be sure to check out all the other pregnant bloggers too!

I Believe.....But?

So many thoughts, worries, and emotions I've had over the past few months, weeks, and especially days as this baby gets closer to being born. Unplanned and unexpected, this pregnancy has thrown me for a loop in numerous ways. (as did the last one as well) Please don't misunderstand, we love our children more than anything and are extremely blessed and thankful to have been given them by God, not to mention that we've always desired a big family. But with all of my health problems I have already, adding in pregnancy is more than a little challenging. That being said, I am so grateful for how our prayers have been answered in so many ways during this one and how the Lord has brought us through the hard stuff to make it until now.

As I wrote in one of my last updates, my health issues as well as some from Blake as well we think, have always gotten passed down to our babies. And even seem to be multiplied many times over or maybe are just harder to deal with when they are so small. Whichever the reason, it unfortunately results in alot of sickness and pain for them after being born. Needless to say, it's a scary thought to bring another little one into the world having to wonder just how sick it will be when it gets here.

Ever since we found out we were expecting again (well, after the shock and numbness wore off anyway!) I've been hoping and praying that this baby would be different. But at times I have to admit that I've been almost afraid to ask for better health since we did the same thing last time only to be disappointed. It's like even though I'm wishing for a better outcome, I'm already mentally preparing myself to not get it and for things to be bad. Not exactly what I would call praying in faith! Over the past couple weeks the Lord has really been pointing this out to me and dealing with my heart about it but to be honest I'm still struggling. My fears of what might be are greatly keeping me from trusting in what He could do.

I've also realized after having some conversations with Blake over the past few days that he's pretty much in the same spot....and really hadn't even noticed it himself. After talking with him about my feelings and how not only was I discouraged thinking about it but that I'd gotten even more so hearing some of things he said as well. Pretty much like we were both expecting a negative outcome when Daxton gets here, even though we say we're praying for the opposite.
After discussing it again this morning before he left for work I was thinking about how little faith we had obviously had that God would truly answer our prayers. And although I fully understand that we sometimes get a different answer than the one we want or ask for, I still think that it's important to actually believe He can and will do whatever it is we're praying about. And then just leave the outcome up to Him.

While I was thinking about all that, the Lord brought the scripture to my mind about the father who brought his son to the disciples to be healed of an evil spirit but they were unable to. Then when Jesus came to ask what was wrong he said if thou can do any thing, have compassion and help us. (kinda sounds like he was already doubting? definitely familiar!) But Jesus told him, If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth. Then it says that the father cried out and said with tears, Lord, I believe; help thou my unbelief. The man acknowledged that he believed Jesus capable of healing his son, but that there was still a smidgen of doubt and fear in his heart that he just couldn't seem to overcome without God's help. But instead of trying to hide that or pretend it wasn't there, he admitted it and asked for mercy anyway!

This is exactly where I am right now too. My heart wants so badly to believe our prayers for Daxton to be healthy, able to sleep, nurse well, etc will all be answered, but there's still a part of me that also just doesn't believe it's possible after seeing 3 other babies suffer. As the day draws close for him to be born, I don't honestly know what the outcome will be. But my heart's cry is that I truly do believe God is able to work a miracle and I need His help with my unbelief that He will. I'm praying that He uses this somehow to strengthen our faith and teach us to just trust in Him and His goodness more. No matter what. I definitely need grace in order to do that though. And I'm trying to learn to depend on Him for that as well. "Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him. How I've proved Him 'ore and 'ore. Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus. O, for grace to trust Him more!" 

Will you please pray for our family in the coming days that we'll truly believe and just rest in His peace? 

What a Weekend!

To say things have been a little crazy around here the past couple of days would be a total understatement! Here's a little rundown on what we've had going on around here.

On Friday Blake took off work to help get some things done around the house since we were planning an early birthday party for Dathan. (his is only 2 days before the baby is due so we were thinking doing it now would be better just in case) I had some contractions off and on but just contributed it to being on my feet more. That night I ended up with back pain and nausea on top of the irregular contractions that were still happening. Needless to say I didn't really get much sleep.

On Saturday we got up and went ahead with plans for the party although I felt like something was a little off but just wasn't sure if I was feeling real labor symptoms or just end of pregnancy uncomfortableness. (is that a word??) Anyway, the closer it got to the party time the closer and harder my contractions become until about 30 minutes after it had started they were 5 minutes apart. I also felt crampy, still had nausea and then diarrhea (which I've never done in labor before?), and just overall active labor symptoms. I called the midwife and we decided it would be good for us to head that way just to see what was going on. So we packed a couple of bags and left our company here having a party while we headed to TN! Thankfully it was all family so it was no big deal for them to just be here by themselves and they were totally understanding that we had to leave. :-)

On the way there (which is about a 50 min drive) my contractions were 3 minutes apart so we were like, wow this is really it! They weren't horribly painful but uncomfortable enough that they felt real. It's typical for mine to not get terribly bad til right before the end anyway so it seemed likely this one was going the same way. We got there and she checked us both out a little, then did a urine test. She wasn't totally pleased with a couple things but wanted me to drink some water and do another one since I seemed to be dehydrated. I was only dilated to a 2 but the baby was at a little more than 0 station and I was very effaced so we still figured things would go pretty quickly if my contractions kept up. After doing the next test she confirmed that I had a slight uti/kidney infection and we needed to start me on antibiotics immediately. I did that and also started drinking tons of water. The contractions slowed to 5 minutes apart but were still consistent and hard enough they seemed to be doing something.

After waiting a couple more hours the contractions became a little more irregular so we decided to head home for a little while and try to rest in our own beds and just see what happened. It was a long night again for me with still feeling labor symptoms and not able to get much rest. I'm still drinking alot and taking strong antibiotics to hit the infection before it becomes more serious. At this point we aren't entirely certain if the combination of infection, dehydration, etc is what triggered the labor or not. Since it hasn't entirely stopped yet it's looking like maybe it's just getting close for him to come but we are kinda just having to wait and see.

The plan for now is to take some doses of magnesium (which can slow or stop labor) in order to give my uterus a break and hopefully allow me to get some rest for when it really kicks in again. I'm trying to just take it easy and go with the flow for now, although that can be a little hard with how I'm feeling at the moment. Prayers for wisdom and most of all strength are very much appreciated. I know he will come at the perfect time even if it doesn't look exactly like we planned or thought so I'm trying to just not to worry and let the Lord take care of it! To be honest, I am really hoping that this doesn't go on for several more days since I'm already so tired and sore but then again I would probably feel a little more comfortable for Daxton's sake if he had more time to grow and get stronger.

I will try to keep you all updated with any changes over the next few days and please keep me and this baby boy in your prayers. We are so excited to meet him soon!

                                          Tyra

ps. I think I forgot to mention that I was 3 cm before leaving last night so the contractions were making some progress....just slowly. Also, I'm only 37 wks and 3 days so that is pretty early for me since the other 3 have come late. This one may be totally different though so now we will just wait and see how it goes from here! :-) I'm also linked up to My Joy Filled Life again so be sure and click through to see to read all the other pregnancy updates.

A Baby Shower!

As I've mentioned in a couple of previous posts, some friends of mine generously offered to host a baby shower for Daxton last night. They worked so hard to put things together, especially considering that even planning the food was a challenge between my allergies and gestational diabetes! We had so much fun getting together to celebrate his upcoming arrival though and I was so blessed at the gifts everyone brought as well. And I even splurged with a small piece of cookie cake (which I had been craving like crazy!) without totally driving my blood sugar up. Well, okay, actually I forget to take my moniter and check it so I'm not sure how high it really got but it wasn't too bad when I got home so I think I did okay. Possibly due to the fact, I also ate alot of nuts and cheese to try and balance out the protein and carbs. lol
Very thankful to all the ladies who helped out with it and made it a special time. Here are a few pictures of all the fun. I think we might have ended up having more girls there than mommas! :-)

36 Week Update

Can't believe how close we're getting to meeting this little boy! Some days it has definitely seemed like the pregnancy would be never ending but now that I'm so far along it seems crazy that he's almost here. So exciting (and a little scary too) though! Here's what's been going on the past week or so with me and him.....

~ I'm 36 weeks and 3 days. Just a few more days to go until I'm considered "full-term" and able to deliver safely at the birthing house!

~ Having a good many contractions and lots of pressure, etc these days. It's hard to tell if this is just normal, getting ready kinda of stuff that may last awhile longer or I'm actually getting close to the real thing. I'm trying to prepare myself for either way but to be honest it would be nice to know for sure!

~ I love my midwife and am so glad we chose to change care providers, even so late in the pregnancy. Can't wait to see what kind of experience this delivery is going to be with her.

~ Still dealing with the blood sugar issues, allergies, and other health stuff. It's pretty rough some days but just trying to hang in there for now. Prayers for strength to make it these last couple of weeks are appreciated and that I will feel good when actually going into labor.

~ After having 3 kids born with extreme allergies, reflux/stomach issues, and mulitple other health problems it is extremely hard not to worry that Daxton will be the same way. Our babies tend to be in alot of pain, cry almost constantly, struggle to sleep, have to be kept home so as not to be exposed to things, unable to breastfeed, need to wear special clothing, and too many other things to name! It's challenging and heartbreaking to care for them as infants and of course the fact that I still have older ones who struggle with issues just adds to that stress as well. We've been praying that the Lord would be merciful and allow Daxton to not suffer from as many health problems as the rest of us but know that the answer to that may not be yes. Prayers for a miracle are welcome and definitely for us to be able to trust that things will be okay no matter what. We will need God's grace and strength for sure in the days to come! I hope to be able to report a "happy-ending" story to this eventually but know that even if I don't get to that God's grace will be sufficient....just like it has been before. I have to be honest and say that my flesh wants things to be easier and different this time though. Mostly for Daxton's sake, but the rest of the family's too.  

~ Bought some of the bigger baby stuff we needed yesterday so it's nice to have that taken care of. Can't wait to see what all goodies I get at my shower tomorrow night!

~ Baby is kicking like crazy and feels like he doesn't have alot of room left in there. (although I'm secretly hoping he isn't too big!) The kids still love to see and feel him. We're all getting more excited to for him to get here. :-)

~ Got my hair cut several inches last week. I'm still trying to get used to it but think it's going to be easier to deal with for awhile so that is definitely a plus!

~ My next appointment is Thursday so I may be back to update after that. Kinda interested to see what they say about my progress!

~ Last but not least is a picture of the gown my mom surprised me with to wear during labor and/or after. It's super cute and I can't wait to use it! I will definitely have to post a pic of me while wearing it too. Speaking of pictures, I haven't managed to take many of myself these days for some reason. I'm posting one of myself (and our sweet little girl) in a maternity dress I ordered and then couldn't decide if I liked since it's the only recent one I have! (pretty sure I'm returning it at this point but I guess that part doesn't matter. lol) 

So anyway there's the latest news and here are the pictures......

Don't forget to check in over at the My Joy Filled Life link-up to see all the other new updates. Click here to see Sarah's post for the week. Until next time....

                                        Tyra

Praise, Prayers, and Pregnancy

The morning of my midwife checkup started out pretty normal and routine. Got up early (can anyone say "pregnancy insomnia"?!) and had a snack to keep my sugar level okay. Had some quiet time before the kiddos woke up then fixed breakfast and got everyone ready to go. The checkup was great (more on that in a minute) and we all enjoyed getting to see the midwives again. Seriously, it is the best thing ever to have such a more personal experience than you get with using a doctor. After hearing the baby's heartbeat she held the doppler on Darcey's chest so she could hear hers too. So fun! Then the kids mentioned being hungry before we left so she gave them all snacks and juice for the trip home. How awesome is that??!!

So anyway we head for home and make a quick stop at Kroger for a couple of things before driving through the main part of town. Traffic was heavy and we have to pass by the hospital which means there are almost always ambulances to watch out for. While coming up on the last intersection of that area I saw one pulling up to the red light to the right of me but didn't think it had its' lights on. (it could have and I just didn't notice when glancing over) It suddenly flashed them and sounded the siren at the same time obviously letting us know we should stop even though our light was green. The person in front of me went on through and although my stop was kinda last minute and meant I was going to go over the line a little I felt like I shouldn't just ignore him inching out there and keep going. About 5 seconds after we came to a stop and the ambulance was about to cross in front of us we were whammed from behind! Talk about scary!!

Thankfully no one was seriously hurt other than Delancey getting a small bump on her head from hitting the thing on the bottom of the head rest. We aren't sure about the damage to the van yet but at the moment our rear door refuses to open so that's a little frustrating to deal with. But we know vans can be fixed or replaced so are choosing to just be glad everyone's safe and praising God it wasn't any worse! Prayers for the insurance issues to be resolved quickly so we can hopefully make a decision before the baby comes is appreciated.

Now on to the pregnancy news which I will try to be short with since this post is already so long. :-)

~ I am 35 weeks 2 days.

~ The baby's position is still great and his head has dropped down even further. Yay!

~ Having contractions off and on most days and especially at night. I'm thinking I've made a little progress already but that's normal for me around this time. Just getting things ready for the big day!

~ Everything looked great other than a very slight amount of ketones in my urine. They thought it was probably due to my diet more than anything and encouraged me to eat more if I could and definitely drink more. I'm pretty much floating from all the water I'm having these days! lol

~ I've gained about 25 lbs total which is a little less than the other times so far but I weighed more starting out so it ends up about the same I guess.

~ Trying to get some things done and tie up loose ends before he gets here. I still can't believe it's going to be so soon! I'm so looking forward to meeting him and also very excited to see what kind of experience this birth will be with my lovely midwives. Something else I'm excited about is some ladies we met through our homeschool group offering to give me a baby shower! Gonna be so much fun getting to celebrate with them before he arrives.

I think that's about it for now. Prayers for mine and the baby's health are always appreciated as well as for my other children (especially Dathan) who have alot of health issues going on at the moment that are challenging to deal with. I'll post more about that seperately though so I can end this short story for now! :-) I'm linking up over at My Joy Filled Life again this week so don't forget to click through and read about the other pregnant mommas too. Until next time....

                                          Tyra

33 Weeks....and Counting!

Time for another update on the pregnancy! It's been fun linking up with another blog and following along with other moms' journeys this time. Be sure to click over to Sarah's blog, here to read how everyone else is progressing too. (some of those ladies should be delivering any day) And I should say a BIG thank-you to her for hosting the link up as well! :-)

Here's what's new around here since last week....

~ My checkup with the midwife went pretty well. The baby is head down already (woo-hoo!) and the heartbeat sounded great. A couple of my urine levels were a little off, but I really wasn't terribly surprised since we'd had a few rough days and this heat has been awful! The fact that the day before was a holiday didn't help any either. I was dehydrated (oops) and hadn't kept my glucose levels quite as in check as needed so I've really been working on those two things since then.
The ups and downs with my blood sugar can be frustrating and it's hard not to be discouraged with it some days. Prayers for it to be more regulated and for me to have wisdom on what's best to eat are greatly appreciated! I look forward to seeing how things are improved at my next checkup.

~ I've been having some nightly contractions already but that's pretty common for me at this point. Although I know in some ways it's good for my body to prepare itself for the actual labor it can get a little tiresome considering that I do it for several weeks before the real thing. I'm really hoping to not go over my guess date quite as much this time since my health isn't the best but trying to just trust that he will come when he's ready! I will definitely be doing all the natural stuff to help it along I can as it gets closer to time though. :-)

~ Having a hard time emotionally as the actual birth gets near with worry about the baby's health. I plan to do a more detailed post about our past experiences and give some specific prayer requests about that but until then please just pray that I would "cast all my care upon Him"!

~ As for the discussion question about names, we don't really have any certain way to pick one other than them starting with the same letter. (which wasn't planned on purpose to begin with!) Our first two I had actually found and liked before even getting married and they happened to both begin with "D". We then picked out middle names we liked to go with them, but didn't base it on meaning or anything, just what we thought sounded good. When pregnant with our 3rd we decided it would be kinda sad to leave her out of the whole "D" thing so we searched until we found one beginning with that letter that we liked. The funny thing is that I looked up the meaning after she was born and it totally applies to her! (it means dark-hair/skin and she's the only one out of the 3 who has that coloring. lol) We actually had the name picked out for this one with our 2nd since we weren't sure if it was a boy or girl until after she was born. Super excited that we finally get to use it after all these years! And of course looking forward to finding out how crazy life in 4-D will be. :-)

                                          Tyra

32 Week Pregnancy Update!

Linking up again today with Sarah at My Joy Filled Life for the pregnancy updates. Be sure to click the picture below to read some of the other stories! Now onto the latest news.... 

I haven't posted an update for a couple of weeks but there's not really a whole lot to share at this point. I'll try to just give a quick run-down and share a picture of my humongous cute, little belly at the end. :-)

How far along: I'm 32 weeks 4 days.

Scripture on my mind: "Commit thy way unto the Lord, trust also in Him and He shall bring it to pass." Psalm 37:5

We are seeking the Lord's will for our lives in several areas right now so this verse has really been on my heart the past few days. Not to mention that it helps me to remember that I need to trust Him with pregnancy, health stuff, and whatever else going on too!

Baby's growth and movement: He is definitely a busy little thing lately! The family is loving being able to see my stomach move into all kinds of weird shapes. lol He's gotten so big that it can be a little painful at times but I know that's just normal for this far along. According to several websites he should be around 4 lbs and 19 inches. And he feels at least that big to me!

Cravings: Having a hard time with not eating sweets since I'm trying to keep my blood sugar in check. I've splurged a few times but have to be careful to get some protein as well. And sometimes regardless of what I eat it seems to just flunctuate anyway! The midwife says my levels still aren't really bad but it can still make me feel yucky.

Medical Stuff: Nothing new to report there really. (although the blood sugar info could probably have went here instead of on the cravings spot. lol) I ended up missing my midwife appointment last week so I won't see her until this Thursday. I think things are going pretty well though. I'm still struggling with allergies to the chemicals around here so that's hard. I would probably feel pretty good if it wasn't for that since other than normal pregnancy issues I seem okay.

Something I look forward to: I'm more than ready to be done with the pregnancy and meet the baby of course. Also, hoping for some answers to the prayers I had mentioned earlier!

Discussion question: (how do you plan on managing pain during labor and delivery?) I'm planning another natural delivery this time, which I've had 2 out of 3 times so far. I actually don't get terribly uncomfortable during labor until closer to the end so just walking around, breathing, taking a bath, etc works fine with the pain. The last 30 min to an hour can get pretty intense but I usually just try to focus on the contractions, breathe through them, and squeeze my husband's hand super hard. haha Both of my natural births have been a little chaotic in nature so I really wasn't able to relax for the pushing like I wanted but I'm hoping to have a better experience with that this time. I didn't handle the pain very well and pretty much just yell-moaned through the pushing. Thankfully I only pushed about 3-4 times before the babies came out so it didn't last long. I plan on discussing all this with the midwives more as the time gets closer. I'm hoping they'll have some good tips for me!

And last but not least is the latest picture of the belly. I think this was taken right when I turned 32 weeks or maybe 1 day after. We are definitely growing! :-)

(as a side note, this is a shirt I got from Motherhood during my last pregnancy and it's one of my favorites! So comfy! Really wish I had several of them in different colors.)