October 31, 2012

Rather Overdue Update {with some keeping it real randomness too}

With all of the craziness life has provided us the past few weeks blogging quickly went way down on the list of priorities.  But I know some of you have wondered if we're still alive and kicking so I'm gonna try to do a quick update on how things are going around here. I'll probably be sharing the good, bad, and everything else in between. With lots of honesty thrown in for good measure. {deep breath} Here goes...........

~ I can't believe Daxton turned 2 months old last week. Sometimes it seems impossible that it's been that long since he was born and other times it seems much, much longer.

~ To answer the question of whether he has allergies/health issues like the other 3, the short one would be yes. Not as bad in some ways but enough that he requires a lot of extra care and it's pretty impossible to take him out anywhere.

~ Although determined to make breastfeeding work this time around, it just didn't. Without going into tons of details we made the hard decision for me to stop around 3 weeks. And I still struggle with it. Lots.

~ For those who have never experienced life with a sick baby or one who for whatever reason just struggles with not sleeping, hurting a lot, crying, etc it can be difficult to understand what it's like. But please believe me when I say it is one of the hardest things  ever to deal with. It leaves you feeling tired, hopeless, discouraged, frustrated, and with any other number of emotions you can probably imagine. Multiply all that with the fact I've experienced it 4 times over and you know exactly what I've been feeling the past few weeks.

~ Don't get me wrong. Not every day is as bad as some. And not every minute of those days' are either. I'm thankful more than I can say for every good time of him sleeping while laying down or just being able to lay for a few minutes without hurting and crying. I'm doubly grateful that in comparison to 2 of the others he doesn't cry constantly for hours on end regardless of what we do. That may sound crazy but it's true.

~ The older kiddos are struggling to adjust to this "new normal" since Daxton requires so much care, which of course means they get very little a lot of days. The most heartbreaking thing I've ever felt was Darcey grabbing me around the legs while I was holding a crying Daxton and saying, "I miss you, momma." Let's just say that Daxton wasn't the only one crying after that! Once again, every single day isn't that way but the ones that are tend to be rather difficult.

~ On a lighter note, Daxton has grown like crazy and is so big already! He has been wearing 3 months size clothes for a few weeks now (and even a couple 6 mths things) and size 2 diapers as well. From all appearances he looks perfectly healthy and is seriously a happy, fun baby when not in pain or feeling bad. Love seeing his sweet smile and hearing him "talk" and laugh out loud! 

~ We hadn't been able to figure out who exactly he looks like until I found an old baby picture of Blake I didn't realize we had. It is the spitting image of him! I can't wait to see if that will change or if he'll stay a daddy look-alike when he's older.

~ Once again a big part of our days tend to be spent on an exercise ball since bouncing seems to settle Daxton down the best. As tiresome as it can get sometimes it is hands down better than some of the stuff we tried with the first 2.....before we knew an exercise ball would work! Some other things that come in handy these days are Colic Calm, various homeopathics for allergies and stomach issues, probiotics, a bouncing seat, the swing (sometimes), chiropractic visits, propping him up to sleep(when he's able to lay down), and chocolate. Lots of chocolate. Oh, wait, that's for me not him! lol

~ I'm beyond thankful that Blake is so good at helping out, both with the baby and around the house. I would definitely not be able to to make it without his help! My parents, especially my mom, have also been great at giving us a break, bringing food, or taking the older kids out places since we can't. I would probably be out of my mind (um, more than I am normally?! haha) if I'd had to do everything on my own since Daxton was born.

Okay, so I'm sure there's more I could write but my tired brain has thought of all it can at the moment. Let me just add that although there have been some dark, hard days for me in the past few weeks, I know that most of all it's been God's grace that has brought me through it. And even in the midst of all my questions and doubts and yes sometimes anger, at the way things are....He's been faithful. Prayers for grace and strength are still appreciated for the future. And wisdom for the decision about all of our health issues. It's hard not to worry and just trust that things will be okay, but I know that's the best thing to do so I'm trying extra hard to learn how! Now I'm really done for now. Hopefully I'll get back to blogging more often one of these days. Until then just know that life in 4-D is never dull for sure! :-) Oh, and enjoy this photo of our newest little cutie....