Giving Thanks, In Everything...

It's been a little while since my last life update. Things get busy and health struggles are hard and I honestly just don't always have the words to share what it's been like over the past couple years. Something that stays on my mind so often though is this verse in 1 Thessalonians, "In every thing give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you."

In EVERY thing give thanks? That's something I admittedly struggle with not just doing but at times even wrapping my mind around. When I'm only responding with my flesh and focusing on my circumstances anyway. But when I take a step back and look at it from a spiritual perspective and ask God to really help me see how blessed we are regardless of what we are going through, oh how things change. Or my attitude towards thing changes at least and that makes all the difference.

The past couple weeks have been rough(er). Moving again, health issues flared up severely, trying to find a new church, being consistent with schooling, financial struggles, and just every day life stuff. Let's just say that remembering to still give thanks in the middle of it all has been a challenge. One that some days seemed more of a duty than truly heart felt. And I fall into the attitude of thinking that of course it's not wrong to feel discontent with how things are! Who could be thankful for all this? And my focus is completely on the bad with no thought for any blessings, which obviously is not a good place to be.

Then at the same time we are seeking God's will for our lives and sometimes doubting and questioning if we know what that looks like or if we are truly "getting it right". But then I read an article like this and it convicts me and reminds me of that verse all over again. And I go back to read it one more time. Only to find that not only do I have so much I should be giving thanks to the Lord for, but that is exactly how I can be in His will right now!

I'm not belittling what us and many other families are going through, some with way worse trials than ours(like the article above). I truly believe it's okay to be real about struggles because that's needed too so that we don't all feel alone in hard times. But at the same time I don't want to get hung up there and completely neglect to still give thanks.
Because the truth is, God is good. And every day that we are alive is due to His mercy and grace. If He never gave another gift or blessing to me besides just the fact that He gave His own Son to die for my sins and saved me from hell, that's enough to give thanks for. In spite of the hardships in life.

And just like the woman in the Bible, who begged Jesus to help her daughter even though she was just a Gentile "dog", He gives way, way more to us than just the crumbs off the table. He never leaves us, never forsakes us, and always provides exceedingly, abundantly more than we can ask or even think. It doesn't mean there aren't trials, but only that He is with us through them. And that He's leaving handfuls of blessings on purpose if we take time to get close enough and look for them. And He wants us to take time to thank and praise Him for that!

I'm going to wrap this post up with those thoughts, but next time I plan to be more specific on things I've found to give thanks for during these hard times. I hope this was an encouragement to someone and that you'll join me....


                                             Tyra

Months of Craziness all Summed Up in One Post (kind of)

So obviously it's been a while since I've blogged, y'all. And the main reason is that we really have been exactly what the name of this blog says.....but without the play on words. I thought it was about time to share a little of what that has looked like though, so hopefully I can get the general idea across in this post. If not, I may or may not do another later. No promises there since we will probably be dealing with the whole "at our wits' end" thing still. Anyhow, here goes....

As mentioned in my last post here we have figured out that this area is a huge source of environmental issues for us and our health. Not going to try and go into a lot more detail as to the "whys" at the moment other than just to say that chemical toxins, mold allergies, and even geographical layouts (we found out we live on top of a water table) can and do affect your quality of life greatly. Add all that to some already pre-determined genetic problems which make us more sensitive to some things and you've got some pretty major health stuff going on. Now you may be asking what that looks like on a day to day basis or even what we are doing about it and that's what I'm planning to write about tonight.

First of all, for our youngest (who has been hit the hardest obviously because of his age/size) it still means chronic, daily pain and itching all over his body, very restless and often interrupted sleep for several hours at night, welps, sores, eczema, swelling, stomach issues, and well the list could go on and on. Needless to say, for a 2 year old going through all of that and more, it. is. bad.

For the rest of us, we tend to have various reactions and/or health problems related to the things we're exposed to here but of course they aren't quite as severe or hard to deal with as his. But to be honest, my own have gotten a good bit worse in the past couple months and when you consider being the mom who is trying to handle everyone else's issues plus her own, not to mention the every day stuff around the house then it can be pretty rough sometimes. Between myself and the older 3 kids we've had migraines, stomach issues, skin problems(rashes, eczema, etc), chronic pain, extreme fatigue, dizziness, itching, swelling/breathing issues, insomnia, and random other things that seem to be related. Once again, not an exhaustive list but that is the general things that crop up on a daily/weekly basis for some or all of us.(Blake's issues are less often or sometimes obvious but still there as well) Suffice it to say, it's exhausting both physically and emotionally. Oh, and I almost forgot to mention that we just found out the chemicals can work as hormone disruptors as well. That explained a lot of things but wasn't exactly good news. Fun times.

Now on to the what we are doing about it part. Well, the things is....there isn't a medicine out there to actually treat you for exposure to environmental toxins. In fact, since a lot of it is chemical based or due to mold, fungus, etc then most western medicine only makes it worse. At the very least, it would be a poor attempt at covering up the symptoms rather than getting to the root of the problem and at worst it will greatly exacerbate the symptoms. (care to guess which category we fall in??) We've searched long and hard for doctors and practitioners to help us figure out what's wrong and are still trying new treatments and supplements to help our bodies heal and get strong again (especially Daxton), but the main conclusion we've come to is that moving is obviously the only real answer at this point. I don't really have time to go into all about what trying to get a house up for sale, pack, find a new job (since this ENTIRE area has crop farming), and everything else a total move and life change is like when you're health and that of your kids is in total shambles. Let's just say it stinks and is pretty much impossible to do and leave it at that. Yeah.

But wait, I can't really leave it there because that sounds completely hopeless and while some days I have to admit do feel that way I know deep down that it's not. Has it been a rough past few months? Yes. Are things looking better and we know exactly how they will work out in the next few weeks? No. (side note, I don't think I mentioned that we need to be moved asap since they are starting up the crop farming again. In February. Which means more poisonous chemicals in our already sick bodies. Lovely.) BUT, God has proven faithful in our lives time and again and I know that this time won't be any different. We are praying hard for direction, wisdom, and open doors and are slowly but surely seeing change happen, even though it doesn't look exactly like we would like. I don't know what the immediate future holds and sometimes my fears and worries over our chronic issues and how bad they are and how much longer they could last overwhelm me, but I'm choosing to trust tonight that it's gonna be okay. (You may have to remind me of that tomorrow when I have a baby boy with sores and welps and skin irritations who is scratching uncontrollably and screaming my name for help at the top of his lungs, in spite of all I'm doing to try and make it better. My mama heart is made of flesh after all and that's a little more than anyone can stand for days on end. Just sayin'.) But in the end, that's all any of us can really do, right? Try our best to make good decisions for our lives, within God's will according to the Bible, and then leave the rest up to Him. I have to admit though that living by faith is sometimes a much easier song to sing than it is to actually put into practice. Only through His grace. Always.

Since this has already turned out to be a pretty long post, I'll end with that and also asking you all to pray for our family as we travel this road of sickness and hopefully big changes over the next few weeks or months. Obviously we aren't the only ones faces problems or hard times but they are still there and still real for us and we can use all the prayers for strength we can get! I'm not sure how long it will be until the next update but I'm determined for it to be a good report whenever it comes. Until then, we'll still be hanging out here at our "Whits" end. :-) Thanks so much for stopping by and reading. We would love to hear from you in the comments!


                                             Tyra

A Long/Short Summer!

Since I've been missing in action around here for the past few months, I figured it was time for a little update on what's been going on. The hard part is in knowing where to start exactly in all the craziness?!

In case you don't already know, we have a lot of health issues including allergies and especially chemical sensitivities. Unfortunately, we also live in an area where the farms are large and have gradually become more and more dependent on pesticides and other sprays that are toxic. (ever hear of Monsanto? they pretty much own this area I think. ugh) Anyway, this year we noticed an even bigger change in our reactions as they started spraying the crops in the spring and by the end of May and first of June we were hardly able to go outside without side effects since the chemicals are just so strong in the air.

Although all of us suffer from various reactions at times, the worst part by far though has been Daxton's skin issues, with him eventually having something that looks like a cross between burns and severe eczema all over his body. I'm not even exaggerating either, but I wish I was. I could go on and on trying to explain how horrible it has been but let's just say that nightmarish pretty accurately describes it best. He has been in almost constant pain in some way or another for the whole summer and is still not over it. Putting him in footie pajamas to keep scratching at a minimum, rubbing him down with oils or creams multiple times a day, giving him meds, staying up half the night, and just working to do anything to keep him calmed down has been the norm for us these past few months.

And of course with all that we've been limited on taking him out very much so it's been challenging to do things (especially all together) and the summer has felt like it has just passed us by while at the same time dragging on forever. Sounds crazy I guess but it's true! All that being said though, I have had moments of extreme thankfulness even in the midst of all the pain and frustration of dealing with this. Thankful for answered prayers and moments of relief when we were literally at the end of our strength. Thankful for grace and the help of a wonderful husband. Thankful for time with the kids where we had fun in spite of feeling yucky and more thankful than I can say that I get to stay home with them and their health issues aren't any worse. Thankful for grandparents who love to help out in so many ways. Thankful that even though I can't see a purpose in what we've gone through this summer, I can trust that God still has one and just keep coming back to Him when I question and doubt.

So yes it's been a long summer as far as going through hard times and short in that it seemed like we weren't able to enjoy it, but we've almost made it past it now and are looking forward to changes ahead! I had planned on sharing more about those tonight as well as some photos but it's late and I need to try and rest while Daxton is sleeping (since we never know how long that will last!) so I will be back soon...


                                              ~Tyra~

Young Living Essential Oils

I haven't written much on here about essential oils but I wanted to take a minute to share a little with y'all how we have been using them around here the past few months. You may or may not have already heard about them but they are amazing natural healing oils that can work for so many things. Be it burns, bug bites, headaches, tummy issues, coughs, or even strep throat we have seen these oils work wonders in helping our bodies get better! That's just a few of the things they are good for but the uses truly are endless when it comes to using them. The best thing is that they are completely natural so we aren't putting anything harmful on or in us that can cause other issues rather than just doing good for our health. If you'd like to have more info on these oils and how you can use them for your own family then please leave a comment or send me an email and I will be more than happy to help you! Here is a picture of a starter kit that is available if you want to sign up as a wholesale member (you can also buy individual oils at retail cost). This is a great deal and the perfect way to try out some of the most popular oils Young Living offers! For a limited time I also have a $20 voucher good for any size starter kit so you can get an even better price for the oils. First person to ask for it will get the coupon! I'm here to help you with anything I can to get you started in using these natural remedies so don't hesitate to contact me with any questions. Here's to better health for all of us! Happy oiling! ~Tyra

Mama Wars....the Good and Bad {part 1}

I'm going to write about something that's been on my mind and heart a lot lately. Hopefully it will come out as well in words as it has in my thoughts so that it can help someone else! We've all heard about "mama wars" over various subjects and just to be honest I think most of it is silly, immature bickering that everyone needs to stop making such a big deal over. Notice I said most of it, which means I obviously do think there are some things worth fighting for. Now I also think there's a right and wrong way to go about it, but still some things do require a battle. It's just part of the world we live in due to sin and our human nature. Before I get into what I think we should be warring over though (which will probably be in part 2), I'm going to share a few things that I don't feel are appropriate or worthy battle grounds. So here goes....

~ What you feed your kids, when you feed your kids, how you feed your kids, etc. Now don't get me wrong, I have very strong opinions on these things for my own family; partly because I've had to. And there are tons of stuff out there that I think is pure junk and shouldn't be given to anyone! BUT if your idea of what's best (or what you can afford) is different from mine and it works for you (or even if it doesn't!) then it really isn't any of my business. I will gladly share my thoughts if asked but until I am any of them expressed are just my own opinions and lifestyle and in no way meant to induce feelings of guilt or inferiority in anyone.

~ To vaccinate or not vaccinate, ah...that is a HUGE question these days, right?! But once again as stated above, one that although I hold very strong opinions on myself is in no way what I think should be required of everyone. I love researching things and prayerfully considering what's best for our family and I think everyone should be doing that, but giving or not giving shots once again just isn't a decision anyone can make for someone else. Now I will GLADLY tell you what I found out in some of that research and may even secretly hope it changes your mind since I think most vaccines are horrible (just keepin' it real!) but I will also fully respect if it doesn't. And furthermore just keep my mouth shut if not asked to share. No warring here, mkay?

~ Natural childbirth vs medicated, breastfeeding vs bottle, birth control vs not preventing (unless it's abortive of course and then I'll probably be pretty outspoken about it), natural medicines vs conventional, homeschool or private, Christian school (no I don't really consider public school a valid option, even though I still wouldn't tell you that if you choose it unless you specifically ask me), debt-free vs credit cards, and any other number of similar, personal choices that a husband and wife make for themselves!

Seriously, this list could go on for a while since there really are a LOT of these kind of issues that just aren't something that can or should be decided on by anyone else but you in your own way (hopefully by prayer and scripture for most of them!) and for your own reasons. I guess that gives an idea of what I mean when I say most of the typical things that trigger "wars" are just pointless though. Now that we have that part out there I'm going to be sharing what for me are some things worth fighting for. Ones that I feel like God has really placed on my heart, especially recently, for a reason. And I'm praying that it may just help some of you join the battle as well! Until then what are your thoughts on this subject? I'd love to hear them!

                                                                    Tyra

*linked up here at The Modest Mom blog*

(ps. I should have added that I do often share things on my personal FB page or here that I'm rather passionate about......some that may not be exactly right for others and some that should be important to everyone! My giving out info there or on the blog isn't always meant to change minds or disagree with others but may just be part of me being me. But then again I read stuff all the time that helps me better myself in many ways and I think that's a good thing so there may always be a reason for what I share that can help someone else!)

Some Must Have Baby Items {at our house anyway}

I see a lot of blog posts about things you need (or don't) when having a baby. Some of them are good and useful, but somewhat based on the assumption that your baby will be the eat, sleep, change, basically non-fussy type of child. If in fact you find yourself with one who is slightly more challenging to care for than that, then this post is for you! (by the way, I really don't like the phrase "is he/she a "good" baby?".....while some  babies definitely require more care than others for various reasons that in no way makes them "bad". Just sayin'.) Ok, so moving on, here in no apparent order are some items or tricks that we've found extremely helpful when dealing with all 4 of our kiddos. Oh, and for the record, our first one cried way more than he slept. Literally. And our other 3 haven't been too far behind that so let's just say we have lots of experience with fussiness around here. ;-)

Skipping over the rather obvious necessities like diapers, wipes, and clothing.....this is some of our favorite go-to stuff when getting ready for another little one:

Exercise ball: nope, this isn't to get mom back in shape after the birth (although it kind of has that added benefit) but it IS perfect for bouncing a crying baby to sleep. Or just bouncing period if they need soothing like all of ours did. Trust me, you will quickly become a pro at it if the need arises! (as a side note, when our first was born we didn't know of this little trick and used a straight back wooden chair to bump back in forth in for soothing. Yes, you did read that right. Our carpet had permanent indentions afterwards. You do what you gotta do, you know?)

White noise: this can be water running from a faucet, the vacuum cleaner, a blow-dryer, a noise machine, OR best of all this great website/app that we found with child #3. I kid you not, y'all, this really works not only to help the babies calm down but also to drown out other noise as well so if they ever do eventually go to sleep then they won't get woke right back up. I've spent many days bouncing and listening to this as loud as it would go. Yes, it can get a little annoying after awhile but it is way better than a screaming baby. Trust me.

Probiotics: this is something we didn't know about with our first 2 but that has been great for the last ones. Our babies are born with huge stomach/digestion issues (which is probably where a lot of the crying comes from) so giving them these help to soothe that. Here's the brand we like best which has even been proven in a medical study to help with colic. You can find it online or at several pharmacies and health food stores as well.

Pacifier: I know there are different opinions on this and that's fine! Everybody has to do what works for them or decide what their own preference is. For us, we love pacis around here! Our babies with all their health issues/pain just need some extra soothing and pacis seem to help them so much. There are all different kinds and it may take a little while to figure out which one works best for each baby so don't give up if they don't seem to like a particular one at first!

Those are my top favs for things to do with fussy babies, but here's a few more things we also used with some or all of them that helped with reflux/stomach/allergy issues: colic calm gripe water,  chiropractor adjustments, homeopathics, essential oils, propping a contour pillow sideways on a regular one....the baby lays in the contour and can't roll over and is at an angle to help them not choke as bad too! Genius, huh?

That's about all I can think of at the moment. I'm sure there are more things we tried but after a year or more you tend to forget stuff from lack of sleep. haha Hope this helps someone else who may find themselves at a loss for what to do with an overly fussy baby. The hardest thing can be feeling like no one really understands so let me just assure you that you are not alone! On top of all of this my babies also all eventually ended up on special formula, they all had tons of allergies and reflux, there was more than one day that I cried right along with them because I didn't know what else to do, and it just took time, patience, flexibility and lots of help to make it through it. So hang in there! You can do this. 

If there's anything you would add that worked for you please feel free to do so in the comments! Or if you are going through the sick and crying baby phase at the moment and just need to vent then by all means do so. We will totally get it and not judge at all. I promise. :-)



                                        Tyra

(linked up over here at My Joy-Filled Life and here at A Wise Woman Builds Her Home)


                                           

Summertime Randomness {a what we've been up to post}

Is it just me or has summer literally flown by?! Seems like only yesterday we were finishing up our school year in May and now it's already the middle of August! Anyway, I haven't written much about things we are doing these days so thought I would share some of the fun and crazy moments of our lives the past couple months. Here are the 4-D details, in no certain order.....

~ Daxton is taking a couple steps here and there but hasn't totally started cruising yet. It definitely doesn't stop him from getting around though! He also seems to love climbing so we have to keep a close eye out for that.

~ Delancey has discovered sign language in the past couple months and is loving it! It's so fun seeing her so excited about learning something new. Can't wait to see how she progresses in the future.

~ Dathan is still loving making his own movies. He writes scripts, takes pictures, records, and then puts it all together on the computer. I really think he may go somewhere with this when he's older!

~ Darcey has grown up so much in the past few months! I have to sometimes remind myself she's still only 2. She loves learning new things, writing, drawing, reading, and watching her favorite shows. Her vocabulary never ceases to amaze us.

~ The kids have all loved swimming at my parents, of course. The liner had to be replaced on the pool this year so they didn't get as early a start as usual. And now it's already seeming cooler than normal so the water is getting chilly. I'm sure they will try to get in as much of it as possible before they start freezing!

~ We've done some school days here in there finishing up various subjects and grasping a few concepts a little better after having a lighter load with the new baby last year. The kids weren't totally crazy about it but it's been good for them I think.

~ A missionary friend of ours is home from Brazil and has made a couple of trips down to see us this summer. He is a great man of God and the kids absolutely love spending time with him! So glad that they can have real heroes to look up to in their lives instead of what the world would have them admire.

~ Got to attend a campmeeting in TN back in July for a few days. It was such a blessing to fellowship with other believers and hear some great singing and preaching. The kids had fun making new friends and Delancey got a new penpal as well.

~ Allergies and other health issues have abounded this year. Some days, well, weeks really have been rough as we struggle with reactions to the chemicals they put on the crops nearby. It can be challenging to try and do just normal life stuff when the way you feel isn't normal. Not to mention, how it effects our sleep habits. Chronic tiredness is the worst. thing. ever. ((yawn))

~ We've enjoyed doing some Bible/Character studies in the past couple months. I think I've learned as much and been convicted over certain behaviours more than the kids! It's amazing what the Lord can show you when you're truly desiring to learn. Another neat thing was that several times what we had been studying about during the week was the same or similar to the devotions Blake would share with us as well! No coincidence there I'm sure.

That's about all I'm thinking about at the moment! It's definitely been a summer full of good and not so good times but looking back I'm thankful for every single one I got to spend with my kiddos. We are getting back into the swing of schooling more full time again. But first we have a couple of birthdays to celebrate in the next week! Can't wait to share the details of all the fun with Dathan turning 10 and Daxton turning 1. Until then.....

                                   Tyra 

30 Day Health Challenge

Due to our multiple allergies we already have a pretty strict diet, but I've been looking at different ways lately to change it up even more in hopes of healing some of our issues and possibly toning down some of the sensitivities we have. I found something called the Whole30 which eliminates pretty much anything that can cause inflammation or sensitivities for most people. There are a couple things I don't agree with about it, one because it's based on the Paleo diet whose beliefs come from an evolutionist viewpoint that I think is totally wrong and two because I don't honestly think everything that they've chosen to eliminate is really bad for you and some of the things they recommend we are allergic to. So of course as with anything else we have to take that into consideration and make the diet into something that works for us. The idea for us is to just try to calm down our reactions as much as possible and hopefully heal our gut/digestion issues enough that when we add back other foods they will be easier digested and not cause sensitivities. It's something that seems doable for the 30 days but not something we think is necessary all the time. Anyway, that's a little background of the what/why of the idea so now here's the basics of how we're doing it.

Starting this past Monday we eliminated all grains, dairy, legumes, soy, processed foods, additives, sugars (even natural ones), and basically anything else unhealthy you can imagine outside of those things. Some of it we already didn't eat anyway and some of it is new, but needless to say it. is. hard. Basically we are eating meats, eggs, most vegetables, fruits, nuts, and good fats (like coconut and olive oil). Yep, that's it. Sounds fun, huh? :-) If you're wondering what that looks like in an actual day of meals then here's a few things we've tried so far: eggs, breakfast meat, and fruit, turkey breast and veggies, natural beef hot dogs and sauerkraut, hamburger steak with green beans, chicken wings and steamed broccoli, fried plantain and eggs with fruit, etc. We've also done some freshly made juices and smoothies as well as some "jello" made out of juice and gelatin (which is really good for you!). It's day 3 and we are hanging in there so far but I'm starting to see some detox and withdrawals in all of us I think so who knows how the rest of it will go!

In addition to eating changes we are also trying to focus on doing some exercising each day and working on spiritual/character issues as a family. As much as we want to be healthy physically, we want our hearts to be in good shape even more so! Spending time together playing and talking has happened a lot this week and not doing much media throughout the day. All these things are a work in progress and require not only diligence to keep at it but also patience while adjusting to something new. Let's just say that we are far from perfect around here! We are hanging in there though and hoping for some good results/rewards at the end!

I will say that the past couple weeks have been rough for all of us physically and our family isn't getting good sleep most nights. That in itself is super challenging and can become overwhelming after a while since exhaustion makes everything else so much harder. Our outdoor allergies are at the all time worst right now so it feels like we are just being hit with a lot at the moment. Prayers for strength and grace are so appreciated as we try to have wisdom in deciding what's best for everyone on this health journey. Thanks for reading and I will hopefully be able to give some updates as the month progresses!

Rather Overdue Update {with some keeping it real randomness too}

With all of the craziness life has provided us the past few weeks blogging quickly went way down on the list of priorities.  But I know some of you have wondered if we're still alive and kicking so I'm gonna try to do a quick update on how things are going around here. I'll probably be sharing the good, bad, and everything else in between. With lots of honesty thrown in for good measure. {deep breath} Here goes...........

~ I can't believe Daxton turned 2 months old last week. Sometimes it seems impossible that it's been that long since he was born and other times it seems much, much longer.

~ To answer the question of whether he has allergies/health issues like the other 3, the short one would be yes. Not as bad in some ways but enough that he requires a lot of extra care and it's pretty impossible to take him out anywhere.

~ Although determined to make breastfeeding work this time around, it just didn't. Without going into tons of details we made the hard decision for me to stop around 3 weeks. And I still struggle with it. Lots.

~ For those who have never experienced life with a sick baby or one who for whatever reason just struggles with not sleeping, hurting a lot, crying, etc it can be difficult to understand what it's like. But please believe me when I say it is one of the hardest things  ever to deal with. It leaves you feeling tired, hopeless, discouraged, frustrated, and with any other number of emotions you can probably imagine. Multiply all that with the fact I've experienced it 4 times over and you know exactly what I've been feeling the past few weeks.

~ Don't get me wrong. Not every day is as bad as some. And not every minute of those days' are either. I'm thankful more than I can say for every good time of him sleeping while laying down or just being able to lay for a few minutes without hurting and crying. I'm doubly grateful that in comparison to 2 of the others he doesn't cry constantly for hours on end regardless of what we do. That may sound crazy but it's true.

~ The older kiddos are struggling to adjust to this "new normal" since Daxton requires so much care, which of course means they get very little a lot of days. The most heartbreaking thing I've ever felt was Darcey grabbing me around the legs while I was holding a crying Daxton and saying, "I miss you, momma." Let's just say that Daxton wasn't the only one crying after that! Once again, every single day isn't that way but the ones that are tend to be rather difficult.

~ On a lighter note, Daxton has grown like crazy and is so big already! He has been wearing 3 months size clothes for a few weeks now (and even a couple 6 mths things) and size 2 diapers as well. From all appearances he looks perfectly healthy and is seriously a happy, fun baby when not in pain or feeling bad. Love seeing his sweet smile and hearing him "talk" and laugh out loud! 

~ We hadn't been able to figure out who exactly he looks like until I found an old baby picture of Blake I didn't realize we had. It is the spitting image of him! I can't wait to see if that will change or if he'll stay a daddy look-alike when he's older.

~ Once again a big part of our days tend to be spent on an exercise ball since bouncing seems to settle Daxton down the best. As tiresome as it can get sometimes it is hands down better than some of the stuff we tried with the first 2.....before we knew an exercise ball would work! Some other things that come in handy these days are Colic Calm, various homeopathics for allergies and stomach issues, probiotics, a bouncing seat, the swing (sometimes), chiropractic visits, propping him up to sleep(when he's able to lay down), and chocolate. Lots of chocolate. Oh, wait, that's for me not him! lol

~ I'm beyond thankful that Blake is so good at helping out, both with the baby and around the house. I would definitely not be able to to make it without his help! My parents, especially my mom, have also been great at giving us a break, bringing food, or taking the older kids out places since we can't. I would probably be out of my mind (um, more than I am normally?! haha) if I'd had to do everything on my own since Daxton was born.

Okay, so I'm sure there's more I could write but my tired brain has thought of all it can at the moment. Let me just add that although there have been some dark, hard days for me in the past few weeks, I know that most of all it's been God's grace that has brought me through it. And even in the midst of all my questions and doubts and yes sometimes anger, at the way things are....He's been faithful. Prayers for grace and strength are still appreciated for the future. And wisdom for the decision about all of our health issues. It's hard not to worry and just trust that things will be okay, but I know that's the best thing to do so I'm trying extra hard to learn how! Now I'm really done for now. Hopefully I'll get back to blogging more often one of these days. Until then just know that life in 4-D is never dull for sure! :-) Oh, and enjoy this photo of our newest little cutie....

I Believe.....But?

So many thoughts, worries, and emotions I've had over the past few months, weeks, and especially days as this baby gets closer to being born. Unplanned and unexpected, this pregnancy has thrown me for a loop in numerous ways. (as did the last one as well) Please don't misunderstand, we love our children more than anything and are extremely blessed and thankful to have been given them by God, not to mention that we've always desired a big family. But with all of my health problems I have already, adding in pregnancy is more than a little challenging. That being said, I am so grateful for how our prayers have been answered in so many ways during this one and how the Lord has brought us through the hard stuff to make it until now.

As I wrote in one of my last updates, my health issues as well as some from Blake as well we think, have always gotten passed down to our babies. And even seem to be multiplied many times over or maybe are just harder to deal with when they are so small. Whichever the reason, it unfortunately results in alot of sickness and pain for them after being born. Needless to say, it's a scary thought to bring another little one into the world having to wonder just how sick it will be when it gets here.

Ever since we found out we were expecting again (well, after the shock and numbness wore off anyway!) I've been hoping and praying that this baby would be different. But at times I have to admit that I've been almost afraid to ask for better health since we did the same thing last time only to be disappointed. It's like even though I'm wishing for a better outcome, I'm already mentally preparing myself to not get it and for things to be bad. Not exactly what I would call praying in faith! Over the past couple weeks the Lord has really been pointing this out to me and dealing with my heart about it but to be honest I'm still struggling. My fears of what might be are greatly keeping me from trusting in what He could do.

I've also realized after having some conversations with Blake over the past few days that he's pretty much in the same spot....and really hadn't even noticed it himself. After talking with him about my feelings and how not only was I discouraged thinking about it but that I'd gotten even more so hearing some of things he said as well. Pretty much like we were both expecting a negative outcome when Daxton gets here, even though we say we're praying for the opposite.
After discussing it again this morning before he left for work I was thinking about how little faith we had obviously had that God would truly answer our prayers. And although I fully understand that we sometimes get a different answer than the one we want or ask for, I still think that it's important to actually believe He can and will do whatever it is we're praying about. And then just leave the outcome up to Him.

While I was thinking about all that, the Lord brought the scripture to my mind about the father who brought his son to the disciples to be healed of an evil spirit but they were unable to. Then when Jesus came to ask what was wrong he said if thou can do any thing, have compassion and help us. (kinda sounds like he was already doubting? definitely familiar!) But Jesus told him, If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth. Then it says that the father cried out and said with tears, Lord, I believe; help thou my unbelief. The man acknowledged that he believed Jesus capable of healing his son, but that there was still a smidgen of doubt and fear in his heart that he just couldn't seem to overcome without God's help. But instead of trying to hide that or pretend it wasn't there, he admitted it and asked for mercy anyway!

This is exactly where I am right now too. My heart wants so badly to believe our prayers for Daxton to be healthy, able to sleep, nurse well, etc will all be answered, but there's still a part of me that also just doesn't believe it's possible after seeing 3 other babies suffer. As the day draws close for him to be born, I don't honestly know what the outcome will be. But my heart's cry is that I truly do believe God is able to work a miracle and I need His help with my unbelief that He will. I'm praying that He uses this somehow to strengthen our faith and teach us to just trust in Him and His goodness more. No matter what. I definitely need grace in order to do that though. And I'm trying to learn to depend on Him for that as well. "Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him. How I've proved Him 'ore and 'ore. Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus. O, for grace to trust Him more!" 

Will you please pray for our family in the coming days that we'll truly believe and just rest in His peace? 

36 Week Update

Can't believe how close we're getting to meeting this little boy! Some days it has definitely seemed like the pregnancy would be never ending but now that I'm so far along it seems crazy that he's almost here. So exciting (and a little scary too) though! Here's what's been going on the past week or so with me and him.....

~ I'm 36 weeks and 3 days. Just a few more days to go until I'm considered "full-term" and able to deliver safely at the birthing house!

~ Having a good many contractions and lots of pressure, etc these days. It's hard to tell if this is just normal, getting ready kinda of stuff that may last awhile longer or I'm actually getting close to the real thing. I'm trying to prepare myself for either way but to be honest it would be nice to know for sure!

~ I love my midwife and am so glad we chose to change care providers, even so late in the pregnancy. Can't wait to see what kind of experience this delivery is going to be with her.

~ Still dealing with the blood sugar issues, allergies, and other health stuff. It's pretty rough some days but just trying to hang in there for now. Prayers for strength to make it these last couple of weeks are appreciated and that I will feel good when actually going into labor.

~ After having 3 kids born with extreme allergies, reflux/stomach issues, and mulitple other health problems it is extremely hard not to worry that Daxton will be the same way. Our babies tend to be in alot of pain, cry almost constantly, struggle to sleep, have to be kept home so as not to be exposed to things, unable to breastfeed, need to wear special clothing, and too many other things to name! It's challenging and heartbreaking to care for them as infants and of course the fact that I still have older ones who struggle with issues just adds to that stress as well. We've been praying that the Lord would be merciful and allow Daxton to not suffer from as many health problems as the rest of us but know that the answer to that may not be yes. Prayers for a miracle are welcome and definitely for us to be able to trust that things will be okay no matter what. We will need God's grace and strength for sure in the days to come! I hope to be able to report a "happy-ending" story to this eventually but know that even if I don't get to that God's grace will be sufficient....just like it has been before. I have to be honest and say that my flesh wants things to be easier and different this time though. Mostly for Daxton's sake, but the rest of the family's too.  

~ Bought some of the bigger baby stuff we needed yesterday so it's nice to have that taken care of. Can't wait to see what all goodies I get at my shower tomorrow night!

~ Baby is kicking like crazy and feels like he doesn't have alot of room left in there. (although I'm secretly hoping he isn't too big!) The kids still love to see and feel him. We're all getting more excited to for him to get here. :-)

~ Got my hair cut several inches last week. I'm still trying to get used to it but think it's going to be easier to deal with for awhile so that is definitely a plus!

~ My next appointment is Thursday so I may be back to update after that. Kinda interested to see what they say about my progress!

~ Last but not least is a picture of the gown my mom surprised me with to wear during labor and/or after. It's super cute and I can't wait to use it! I will definitely have to post a pic of me while wearing it too. Speaking of pictures, I haven't managed to take many of myself these days for some reason. I'm posting one of myself (and our sweet little girl) in a maternity dress I ordered and then couldn't decide if I liked since it's the only recent one I have! (pretty sure I'm returning it at this point but I guess that part doesn't matter. lol) 

So anyway there's the latest news and here are the pictures......

Don't forget to check in over at the My Joy Filled Life link-up to see all the other new updates. Click here to see Sarah's post for the week. Until next time....

                                        Tyra

32 Week Pregnancy Update!

Linking up again today with Sarah at My Joy Filled Life for the pregnancy updates. Be sure to click the picture below to read some of the other stories! Now onto the latest news.... 

I haven't posted an update for a couple of weeks but there's not really a whole lot to share at this point. I'll try to just give a quick run-down and share a picture of my humongous cute, little belly at the end. :-)

How far along: I'm 32 weeks 4 days.

Scripture on my mind: "Commit thy way unto the Lord, trust also in Him and He shall bring it to pass." Psalm 37:5

We are seeking the Lord's will for our lives in several areas right now so this verse has really been on my heart the past few days. Not to mention that it helps me to remember that I need to trust Him with pregnancy, health stuff, and whatever else going on too!

Baby's growth and movement: He is definitely a busy little thing lately! The family is loving being able to see my stomach move into all kinds of weird shapes. lol He's gotten so big that it can be a little painful at times but I know that's just normal for this far along. According to several websites he should be around 4 lbs and 19 inches. And he feels at least that big to me!

Cravings: Having a hard time with not eating sweets since I'm trying to keep my blood sugar in check. I've splurged a few times but have to be careful to get some protein as well. And sometimes regardless of what I eat it seems to just flunctuate anyway! The midwife says my levels still aren't really bad but it can still make me feel yucky.

Medical Stuff: Nothing new to report there really. (although the blood sugar info could probably have went here instead of on the cravings spot. lol) I ended up missing my midwife appointment last week so I won't see her until this Thursday. I think things are going pretty well though. I'm still struggling with allergies to the chemicals around here so that's hard. I would probably feel pretty good if it wasn't for that since other than normal pregnancy issues I seem okay.

Something I look forward to: I'm more than ready to be done with the pregnancy and meet the baby of course. Also, hoping for some answers to the prayers I had mentioned earlier!

Discussion question: (how do you plan on managing pain during labor and delivery?) I'm planning another natural delivery this time, which I've had 2 out of 3 times so far. I actually don't get terribly uncomfortable during labor until closer to the end so just walking around, breathing, taking a bath, etc works fine with the pain. The last 30 min to an hour can get pretty intense but I usually just try to focus on the contractions, breathe through them, and squeeze my husband's hand super hard. haha Both of my natural births have been a little chaotic in nature so I really wasn't able to relax for the pushing like I wanted but I'm hoping to have a better experience with that this time. I didn't handle the pain very well and pretty much just yell-moaned through the pushing. Thankfully I only pushed about 3-4 times before the babies came out so it didn't last long. I plan on discussing all this with the midwives more as the time gets closer. I'm hoping they'll have some good tips for me!

And last but not least is the latest picture of the belly. I think this was taken right when I turned 32 weeks or maybe 1 day after. We are definitely growing! :-)

(as a side note, this is a shirt I got from Motherhood during my last pregnancy and it's one of my favorites! So comfy! Really wish I had several of them in different colors.)

Grace and Glory

It seems like most of my posts lately have a similar theme. Lots of allergy issues for everyone, pregnancy stuff, lack of sleep, and me being super tired from it all. But alas that is just life at the moment for us I guess. My emotions tend to be all over the place some days, but I'm trying to work on the times I feel totally overwhelmed and remind myself that it will get better and that until it does we'll make it. The only problem is that I also know it's been worse before so I tend to let fears of that sneak in and discourage me even more. Ah!

I'm also trying to remember that most importantly is me seeking the Lord for help and grace to get thru these hard times. Days that I do that are definitely much better than the ones I forget to. I've been thinking alot about those verses in 2 Corinthians that says, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

Now let me just say that I have not fully arrived at the "gladly glorying in my infirmities part" most days. But I am learning more about His grace and want more than anything to lean more on His strength when I'm weak. My hearts' desire is to show my children that we can trust and praise Him during the hard times as well as good and pray that I'll let His power rest upon me so that they can see more of Him and less of me.

I hope maybe these verses might help someone else who is struggling today. Regardless of what comes our way let's just focus on His grace in our lives and choose to glory in the hard times with gladness that we can have His power on us. Now I'm off to try and do just that with the rest of my day!      

Pregnancy Update Week 30

Linking up again with Sarah for the pregnancy updates. Be sure to click through the picture above to read about other stories!

~ I'm 30 weeks and 1 day. (although I should probably change that since I really think my due date is later and I tend to go over anyway!)

~ Had my first official check-up with the midwife since we decided to switch care. Everything looked great with the baby and Blake and I were both impressed with how they answered our questions, etc. Very excited to be having another "homebirth" experience!

~ Not sure about weight gain since I really don't keep up with it much here at home. I'm measuring right on schedule baby wise though. Although, according to alot of horribly rude um, well-meaning people I look huge and could possibly even be having triplets by the size of my stomach. Seriously?! Do women honestly think those kind of comments (which there have been a ton of this pregnancy!) are appropriate?? Thankfully I've managed so far just to smile sweetly and reply with a "this is just how I look because I'm short" type of answer and leave it at that. Now my thoughts were a different story but we won't go there at the moment. lol Okay, I'm off my rant for now. :-)

~ I'm struggling with not feeling good alot of days. Not really sure how much is pregnancy related and how much is from our allergies. We have MCS and they are spraying the crops around here lately so it's throwing us for a loop! My blood sugar is still a challenge most days although I'm managing to keep it in a pretty good range. I'd rather not have the added stress of having to eat so strictly but I know it's good for me and the baby right now. I know things really could be alot worse health wise so I'm trying to be thankful for that rather than focus on the bad.

~ Glad to be in the 3rd trimester and SO ready to be finished with the pregnancy and meet this little guy! The kids are excited as well, with Delancey requesting that she be allowed at the birth since we're using a midwife. We aren't too sure about that part though! I'm thinking she would do okay til the end and start freaking out over my other-worldly screams during pushing. haha Not sure what the actual plan for the kiddos going with us will end up being but I guess we have a few more weeks to decide.

~ In answer to this week's discussion questions: we have decided not to have any more biological children after this one. Between my health and the health problems all of our babies/children deal with it is huge struggle to add pregnancy on top of all of that. With us also trying to homeschool we feel that I can better care for everything, including the 4 children God's already blessed us with, without continuing to have more. I know alot of people feel that means you aren't trusting God, accepting His gift of children, or even are actually disobeying His commandment but we choose to look at it like being responsible for the gifts we have rather than allowing the fear of doing wrong be the only reason we have more. Also, the whole "be fruitful and multiply" and "having a quiverfull" ideas are kinda debatable in my opinion since there's no actual number mentioned....amoung other things. But that's probably a discussion for a whole 'nother post! :-)

That's all for now though. Please be praying for our health as me and the other 3 children are having a hard time right now. That also causes me to worry about the health of the baby when he's born since we tend to have alot of issues right from the start. Trying to trust that God will take care of it all!

                                     Tyra

Update and Outfit!

Wow, I can't believe another week has passed already! (although I will admit a few of the days did drag by a little since I wasn't feeling well) I actually have a couple other posts in the works but just never finished them so I guess I'll go ahead with another pregnancy update. Seems that's about all I'm getting around to posting these days. Also wanted to include a picture to share about my outfit and let you see how humongously big I've gotten much the baby's grown! :-) Check out the links at the bottom to see who I'm linking up with today as well. Now onto the latest news....

I am now in my 3rd trimester which means I'm a little over 28 weeks along! Woo-hoo! Part of me is amazed that we'll be having another baby in just (approximately) 12 weeks and then another part of me is thinking that day will never get here. Yep, I'm definitely in the last trimester I think. Ha!

The biggest news to share today is that we have officially decided to change from OB to midwife and deliver not at the hospital but a birthing house! I'm so excited to have the opportunity for another "home" birth and can't wait to see what kind of experience we have this time. :-) 

That being said, this also somewhat changes the type of care and treatments we will be doing the rest of the time which thankfully includes no 3 hour glucose test! I am being very careful with my eating now though and keeping a check on my sugar levels here at home. Prayers for it to stay regulated are very much appreciated since it tends to make me feel awful when it flunctuates. The awesome thing is that my midwife is very knowledgeable in this area herself, not only from training but because she is actually a diabetic as well. I was very encouraged just from talking with her!

As for other issues, most are still pretty much the same. Pregnancy isn't normally very easy on me physically so I'm not entirely surprised to be having some problems but it can definitely be hard to deal with at times (especially needing to care for the other kiddos) so prayers for grace and strength are my daily routine at the moment. I'm greatly hoping to finish out this pregnancy without any more major issues and that my own health won't adversely affect the baby. I will be writing more about that later and asking specific prayers for after he is born but for now just praying that God's will is done for us both and that I am able to trust He's taking care of it would be great!

Now on to the picture. This was taken last week so I was one day away from being 28 weeks.

~ I found this shirt on sale at Motherhood Maternity and loved the color. I would prefer a little looser fit but if you've tried looking at any maternity clothes lately you'll know that is something hard to find!
~ The scarf came from Target (another sale item!) and I thought it went perfect with the shirt. I've also worn it with a white blouse as well so it's nice to be able to use it with more than one thing.
~ This skirt isn't actually maternity and I can't even remember where I got it at the moment since it's been a few years. (sorry!) It's one of the bubble skirts and has a stretchy waist so can still be worn underneath my growing belly.
Overall I'm pretty pleased with how this outfit turned out. It isn't always easy finding things that fit and are modest so it's always fun to have something you like while pregnant!

So there's my update and outfit post for the week. Looking forward to these next few weeks going by and hopefully getting some things done before Daxton arrives! I will be updating until then though so stay tuned. :-)

(Linking up with My Joy Filled Life and The Modest Mom today. Be sure to go read some of the other great posts on those blogs as well!)

Pregnancy Update

Since I was wanting to do an update on how the pregnancy is going and had an invite to a link-up as well I figured it would work out to just use the same post for both! Be sure to click through the link at the bottom if you want to read about some other moms pregnancy journeys as well. And thanks to Sarah for this fun idea!

How far along: As of today I am 23 weeks and 5 days. My guess date is August 23, 2012. (I like saying guess date since when the baby actually comes or is due is usually so unpredictable in my case! lol)

Baby's Growth/Movement:  He is approximately 12 inches now and weighs about a pound. It's amazing that something that small can pack such a huge kick but boy does he ever! I love feeling and seeing him move around in there though. He's supposed to be hearing more sounds now to get him used to all the noise after being born. Let's hope it works since things are rarely quiet around here!

Gender/Name: Since some of you may be reading for the first time I will add that it's a boy and his name is Daxton Judah. :-)

Medical Stuff/Symptoms/Prayer Requests: I have something called dysautonomia which gets worse during pregnancy so that's a little hard to deal with at times. It causes tachycardia, low blood pressure, shortness of breath, dizziness, tiredness, and sometimes swelling, achy, burning feet and ankles....especially in the heat. (which is a given here in the south this time of year!) I also have severe allergies to lots of things so with both of those along with "normal" pregnancy issues there can be some rough days. Prayers for health and strength during the rest of the pregnancy would be greatly appreciated!

Weight GainStretch Marks/: I've gained a total of 9 pounds (give or take a few ounces. lol) since the beginning of pregnancy. 4 of those being in the past four weeks! Really hoping that doesn't become the pattern in the time I have left, although that would actually end up being less total than what I've gained in my other pregnancies. But I did keep about 10 pounds after our last so that has made a huge difference this time in how I feel and look! I don't seem to be getting any more stretch marks so far other than the ones I've had since my first baby. Hopefully it will stay that way.

Cravings/Aversions: I tend to crave both sweet and salty things at different times I think. Not really anything at this particular time that I just have to have or can't stand now that the all-day morning sickness is over with. Thank goodness!

Sleep/Emotions: I tend to have some sleep issues due to my other health problems anyway so to be honest I don't always get much rest during pregnancy. Which of course tends to make it harder not to be more irritable, tired, etc during the day. We're hanging in there though. Maybe I will catch up somewhat before he gets here cause goodness knows I probably won't get extra afterwards! :-)

Clothes: Mostly in maternity now although I do still have a few regular skirts with elastic and shirts with a little give that work for me. Since I try to dress modestly whether pregnant or not it can sometimes be challenging to find cute clothes, but it's definitely worth the extra work to look nice and not show off too much skin. ;-) Haven't taken any new pics recently but will try to post some next time!

Best Moment This Week: Finding out that my placenta previa had totally moved where it needs to be on its own! Definitely praising the Lord for answered prayer with that. I really did not want to worry about all the complications that can bring with it or especially having a c-section. 

What I Miss/Look Forward To:  I really miss being able to hold our 18 month old easily in my lap and also not feeling like doing much with the older kiddos. I look forward to having another baby boy since our oldest is 8. Along with lots of other things of course!

So there's my pregnancy update for this week. Whew, that was alot of information! :-) Hope you enjoy reading though and I look forward to browsing the other link-ups too.

Some Things We Do For Allergies

As most of you probably know we are a family with allergies. Lots of allergies. I can't think of much out there that one or the other of us haven't reacted to at one time or another. On top of a variety of things we're sensitive too, there's also a variety of ways we react. Yeah, it's not just your average runny nose kind of thing. (which we do as well and is frustrating too....but sometimes preferable to other reactions) I won't get into alot of details there but suffice it to say we deal with this stuff on a daily basis around here. And while it can be hard and rather overwhelming at times, we've managed to learn a few things over the years that seem to help keep them a little more under control. All of which are natural alternatives to meds since we just happen to be overly sensitive to those as well. :)
This list will by no means be exhaustive but maybe it will help give someone else a few useful ideas on dealing with allergies too. So here goes......

Homeopathics, Herbs, etc.
~ Heel/BHI brand: We like to use the tablets since they easily melt in the kids' mouth. They have lots of different things to choose from though. Our favorites are the allergy tabs, body pure tabs (which help with environmental/chemical allergies), and sinus tabs. You can sometimes find them at health food stores but we usually order from this site to ensure we get what we want. allnaturalusa.com

~ KingBio brand: This is liquid that you spray straight into your mouth. (another easy one for the kids!) My mom stumbled across this at a health food store last year and I've used it (mostly in fall or winter) ever since. The main one we've tried is the regional/seasonal allergy....it's a formula made specifically for different areas of the usa, according to the particular allergens there. Awesome! I also just ordered some for chemical/food allergies that I'm hoping helps tone those down for us some as well. Here's the website if you want to check those out. www.kingbio.com  

~ Native Remedies: This is a brand that we've used several different products in (besides just allergy stuff) and have liked pretty much all of them I think. The two we like best for allergy attacks are the SOS hista drops and the Allergiclear tablets. They can be taken together and really seem to head off an attack rather well. Some products are for all ages (you can adjust the dosage) and some are only adults so make sure you check that out if you decide to order. Here's the website for their products. www.nativeremedies.com 

The first two companies are mainly homeopathics while the last one uses herbs as well. All the products are natural, safe, and we've never experienced any kind of negative side effects to anything we've tried. (which is saying alot since we react to everything! lol) You can also safely take them while pregnant (altho obviously there are some herbs that you can't) so that's an added bonus for me at the moment!

I had planned to share some other things we do around the house as well but I think since this post ended up being a little longer than I thought that I'll save that for another time. Hope you enjoyed learning this info and be sure to check back for future posts on this subject! :-)

Pregnancy News

Here's what going on with baby #4! I'm almost 15 weeks now so finally in the 2nd trimester. Hoping the nausea starts easing more as it gets further along. I definitely have a baby bump (as you can see below!) now, but I guess it's time to start showing, right? :)
Between my regular health issues and "normal" pregnancy stuff I've been feeling pretty rough to be honest. But we're hanging in there and know that we'll get through it all eventually. Knowing that the blessings far outweigh the hardships makes it a little easier to deal with. But I have to admit some days I'm just tired and wanting a break.

Had a doctor's appointment today and everything looks good. The nurse said baby is an active little thing. It kept moving away from the doppler while she tried to get the heartbeat so that was funny. The reading was 174 so it was definitely stirred up! :) We get to find out boy or girl at the next app so we're all excited for that. Oh, and I had also gained 3 lbs since the last time but since I actually missed one and rescheduled it had actually been about 7 weeks. I'm telling myself that isn't too bad. And hoping I definitely don't do that between every appointment. lol

So there's a little update on how it's going. I'll be sure to write again when we find out what it is! Last but not least is a picture of the baby bump.....

Memories...

Eight years ago around this time of year we were going through one of the hardest times of our lives. This beautiful red-haired little boy was so very sick and in the hospital having to endure horrible tests to find out why. One of the worst had to be that after all of it they sent us home still not knowing what was wrong or if/when it would get better. Our nights and days were filled with trying to comfort a crying, hurting baby, dreading the times that he would stop breathing and turn blue for no reason......and just feeling helpless when there was really nothing else we could do to help him. 

  And in spite of everything he was going through, he still managed to be a laughing, happy baby whenever he got a break from all the pain he was in. How many times looking back I wish I would have remembered to have that exact same attitude myself! But God was still faithful, in spite of my fears, doubts, and questions during that time.  

  

We still have hard days and nights sometimes. Health isn't perfect and there's things he probably won't ever outgrow completely. (like severe allergies!) But we are more thankful than we can say for being blessed to raise this son of ours.  I'm so grateful the Lord saw fit to let us keep him for as long as we have, since all those years ago there were times when we weren't sure. He still brings so much laughter and happiness into our lives every day! I know God has great things in store for his life and I can't wait to see it.

So today I just wanted to take a moment to remember all God has brought us through these past years. And thank Him for the mercy and goodness He had on us. He might not always do things in the way we want or expect but I'm trying to learn that He still does all things well.