Mama Wars....the Good and Bad {part 1}

I'm going to write about something that's been on my mind and heart a lot lately. Hopefully it will come out as well in words as it has in my thoughts so that it can help someone else! We've all heard about "mama wars" over various subjects and just to be honest I think most of it is silly, immature bickering that everyone needs to stop making such a big deal over. Notice I said most of it, which means I obviously do think there are some things worth fighting for. Now I also think there's a right and wrong way to go about it, but still some things do require a battle. It's just part of the world we live in due to sin and our human nature. Before I get into what I think we should be warring over though (which will probably be in part 2), I'm going to share a few things that I don't feel are appropriate or worthy battle grounds. So here goes....

~ What you feed your kids, when you feed your kids, how you feed your kids, etc. Now don't get me wrong, I have very strong opinions on these things for my own family; partly because I've had to. And there are tons of stuff out there that I think is pure junk and shouldn't be given to anyone! BUT if your idea of what's best (or what you can afford) is different from mine and it works for you (or even if it doesn't!) then it really isn't any of my business. I will gladly share my thoughts if asked but until I am any of them expressed are just my own opinions and lifestyle and in no way meant to induce feelings of guilt or inferiority in anyone.

~ To vaccinate or not vaccinate, ah...that is a HUGE question these days, right?! But once again as stated above, one that although I hold very strong opinions on myself is in no way what I think should be required of everyone. I love researching things and prayerfully considering what's best for our family and I think everyone should be doing that, but giving or not giving shots once again just isn't a decision anyone can make for someone else. Now I will GLADLY tell you what I found out in some of that research and may even secretly hope it changes your mind since I think most vaccines are horrible (just keepin' it real!) but I will also fully respect if it doesn't. And furthermore just keep my mouth shut if not asked to share. No warring here, mkay?

~ Natural childbirth vs medicated, breastfeeding vs bottle, birth control vs not preventing (unless it's abortive of course and then I'll probably be pretty outspoken about it), natural medicines vs conventional, homeschool or private, Christian school (no I don't really consider public school a valid option, even though I still wouldn't tell you that if you choose it unless you specifically ask me), debt-free vs credit cards, and any other number of similar, personal choices that a husband and wife make for themselves!

Seriously, this list could go on for a while since there really are a LOT of these kind of issues that just aren't something that can or should be decided on by anyone else but you in your own way (hopefully by prayer and scripture for most of them!) and for your own reasons. I guess that gives an idea of what I mean when I say most of the typical things that trigger "wars" are just pointless though. Now that we have that part out there I'm going to be sharing what for me are some things worth fighting for. Ones that I feel like God has really placed on my heart, especially recently, for a reason. And I'm praying that it may just help some of you join the battle as well! Until then what are your thoughts on this subject? I'd love to hear them!

                                                                    Tyra

*linked up here at The Modest Mom blog*

(ps. I should have added that I do often share things on my personal FB page or here that I'm rather passionate about......some that may not be exactly right for others and some that should be important to everyone! My giving out info there or on the blog isn't always meant to change minds or disagree with others but may just be part of me being me. But then again I read stuff all the time that helps me better myself in many ways and I think that's a good thing so there may always be a reason for what I share that can help someone else!)

Daxton's Birth Story {part 3}

(to read part's 1 and 2 first click here and here!)

On with the rest of the story.......

We watched as the sun came up and it was such a beautiful morning! It was so neat to be on the farm in the middle of all the sounds of Creation and know I was having the privilege of bringing one of God's greatest creations into the world soon. I decided to go ahead and ask Linda to check me around 6:20 to see what was going on so we would know if my parents needed to start that way with the kids or if it would be a while longer. I was pleasantly surprised to find out I was dialated to about 7.5 and the baby's head was, well, about as low as it can get without actually being born! The contractions were still somewhat irregular and strong but not terribly painful. (don't hate me, I totally make up for it at the end. ha!) She said it would probably happen within the next couple of hours though so I went ahead and called my parents to come and decided to wake up Blake so he would know.

I just kept walking around or sitting depending on how I felt at the moment. It felt so unreal that I would be pushing soon since I wasn't really feeling all that different yet. The rest of the family arrived around 8 I think and the contractions got a little stronger not too long after that although still only about 5 minutes apart. (they didn't stay that regular all morning though and had just gotten that close again) It was so nice to be able to see the other kids for a few minutes. I think it helped them and me both to be reassured that everyone was okay and excited about the new baby!

It was about 8:30 when I felt a little pushy with a couple contractions so I asked Linda to check me again to make sure my body was really ready. She said that it was so close that me just taking my time with some slow pushes would stretch things the rest of the way by the time the baby was actually ready to come out. It was a little strange for me doing it that way but also nice to just kind of ease into the hardest part at the end I think. My water had still not broken at this point so that's what was coming out first with the head right behind. I lost track of how many times I pushed but it seemed like it was taking forever since the contractions were slower at this stage than with my other births. It obviously wasn't, as Andrea laughingly pointed out when I said it, and when I looked at the clock I realized a lot of time really hadn't passed yet since I first started! It also wasn't terribly painful yet and I was able to still carry on a conversation pretty well while resting in between pushes which was so different than the other times as well.

I had chosen to try sitting on the birth stool they had which is sort of a squatting position and it definitely seemed more comfortable than anything else at the moment to me. I finally started feeling a lot more pressure when pushing and Linda told me the baby was getting close to coming out. She reminded me to just relax and also to try and listen to them on pushing slowly so hopefully I wouldn't tear. I was holding on and supporting myself on the sides of the chair and she also had to keep telling me to relax my arms after each push. No wonder I had such sore muscles afterwards! The bag of waters came out and burst on the push right after that at 8:57. All those painless contractions didn't mean a thing at this point cause I started thinking I was going. to. die. if I couldn't finish pushing him out. Now! I know everyone has either heard about or maybe even felt the "ring of fire" but I am pretty sure I had a whole furnace going on in there for a couple minutes. Seriously.

I'm not sure what you would call the sounds coming out of me either but I did try to work on making sure it was the low, (albeit very loud) moaning sounds that actually accomplish something rather than just screaming my head off and not really pushing. Pretty sure I almost have it perfected by this 4th time around, although after watching the video I did realize I let a couple screams slip out after all. But, hey, I figured it was perfectly understandable after finding out how much he weighed, right?? Ha! Enough of this though. Back to having that baby!

I waited (very impatiently) for the next contraction to hit and immediately started to push. I really tried to listen as Linda encouraged me to go slowly while she and Andrea helped stretch things but it was so hard to do. After what felt like forever (but in reality was probably less than a minute) I was just like, I have to push and get him out! To which she replied okay and after one more push there he was!! (the official time of birth was 8:59) So relieved to not feel all that burning pain and pressure any more. His cord was wrinkled up and seemed short at first so we could only put him on top of my legs. I can't even begin to describe the feelings that I had at that moment. I remember looking up at Blake and saying, I did it! It was just so amazing to finally be holding him after all that hard work of him getting here. I was totally exhausted but thrilled at the same time!

We moved onto the bed and his cord relaxed enough so that I could put him on my stomach. I was able to cover up while waiting for the cord to stop pulsing and the placenta to deliver so that everyone else could come in and look at him for the first time. I loved that all the other kids could be there so close by to experience it with us! (although they did go outside for the last couple minutes of pushing so they didn't have to hear momma holler! lol) Linda and Andrea were fabulous caregivers and stayed so calm during the entire process which was such a help to me. The whole experience was truly wonderful from start to finish and I am beyond thankful to have been blessed with such a great birth.

God answered so many prayers in that it was a much better time than some of my other births. Also, I had very little tearing and not too much bleeding so that was a blessing as well. We enjoyed just taking it easy for awhile and letting things just take their own time. He was able to nurse right away before getting weighed and measured. (there on the bed beside me!) After us all spending some time together my parents headed home with the kids while Blake and I got some lunch and rested a little more there. I took a shower after that and then we ended up coming home around 5 that evening. It was so nice to be at our own house in our own bed that same night!

I am so grateful not only for a safe, healthy labor and delivery for us both, but also that the experience was even better than I could have hoped for! And of course the best blessing of all is just the privilege of having another baby added to our family. We are so happy to have our little Daxton here at last and are already totally in love with our precious boy! Can't wait to enjoy watching him grow, but for now for some pictures of that day......


                                    
          (sitting in the rocking chair since I couldn't sleep)

 

               (Blake catching some zzzz's while we wait)

 

(walking around after finding out I was 7.5 cm)

 

                (getting ready to try pushing on hands and knees)

 

               (decided I was more comfortable on the birthing stool)

 

                 (sweet relief and happiness over him being here)

 

(love at first sight. best feeling ever.)

 

                       (first family picture with the 4-D's)

 

                  (having his first check-up, he was perfect of course!)

 

                     (the big sister helping put his first diaper on!)

 

(first snuggles with grandma)

 

                                   (one of my awesome midwives, Andrea)

 

(Linda is such an amazing midwife! We just love her.)

 

(ready to go home)

 

(so glad to be here!)

 

The End!

 

*just as an interesting little tidbit, he was born on the 26th which was actually my own original guess date figured by date of conception before seeing the doctor. kinda neat, huh?*

 

 

Daxton's Birth Story {part 2}

*If you haven't read part 1 yet then click here!*

And now for some more of the story......

Woke up on Saturday and decided to go to town for a few things I hadn't gotten yet. I figured it would keep my mind off of the fact I still wasn't in active labor and the walking around couldn't hurt either! Also went for a massage at a walk-in place in the mall (which is awesome by the way if you live locally and have never been!) which felt so good to my sore, tired body. Pretty sure I almost nodded off a few times while she was massaging my feet. But, hey, I was a sleep deprived pregnant lady so I figured they would understand. lol Had a few contractions off and on that evening but nothing that seemed much different than before. At this point I was beginning to wonder if I would be able to tell the difference or the baby would eventually just drop low enough to be ready to come out without me ever having harder, regular contractions?! Ha!

Ended up going to bed to try and get some rest but kept waking up when I would have a contraction and felt uncomfortable enough to not really sleep well. I was still uncertain about whether it was the beginning of actual labor though since I'd already done this several times before! I finally got out of bed and stayed up for a little while trying to get a feel for what was going on. After about an hour or so I really felt like that even though they were irregular that these were doing something and would probably eventually get stronger and closer instead of stopping. I woke Blake up to let him know and called my mom about coming down to stay with the kids. I figured it would be best to drive to the birth house before things got more serious instead of it being so hectic while riding.

By the time my parents arrived and we were ready to go the contractions had gotten about 5 minutes apart but still not terribly painful. (which is the norm for me it seems) We were gonna let the kids just sleep awhile and go see how much progress was being made before them coming down so they wouldn't be so tired from waking up in the middle of the night. I waited to call the midwife after we left so she could rest as much as possible too. I think in the back of my mind I was still worried this wasn't really it so I didn't want to get everyone out of bed any sooner than I had to! We headed out and got there around 4 am I think. (the times have all kinda run together at this point)

It was dark and quiet at the house and the midwife, Linda, had started some coffee in the kitchen so it smelled good too. We chatted for a few minutes and she assured me she felt this was the real thing, but said I should just settle in for a little while before being checked or anything. It was nice to just relax and know that I was already there whenever things got going more quickly. We both actually laid down on the bed (where Blake quickly fell asleep) but the contractions were still just close enough and hard enough to make actual sleeping impossible for me. The other midwife, Andrea, arrived (with her 9 month old son!) so we all just sat around talking, with me occasionally walking some during contractions. I was drinking water and had an energy bar as well to keep my strength up. Just one more thing to love about delivering there! It was amazing how calm and relaxed I felt, even in the middle of active labor. And little did I know things were about to get even more active pretty soon.....

*stay tuned for part 3 with the end of the story and pictures!*

Daxton's Birth Story {part 1}

After weeks (quite literally) of anticipation over meeting our little guy, I'm so happy to finally be able to share an actual birth story with you all! Here are all the details of his grand arrival....

As most of you already know my labor was rather strange this time, with us thinking that from all the signs he would actually be born early. Needless to say once contractions and other symptoms dragged on for days (or more specifically weeks) I was more than a little tired and frustrated with not knowing when it was really going to happen! There were so many times it seemed like actual labor had finally set in only to have it gradually slow down a few hours later, leaving me in an almost constant state of exhaustion since it happened alot at night. Not to mention more than a little sore!

Went on like that until my "official" guess date that we were going by which was the 23rd. I was due for a check-up on the same day if I hadn't had him yet so we had discussed me just coming in later in the evening and doing some things to help labor along possibly. I was already contracting a good bit again and figured some oils, herbs, etc just might be what I needed to get things going! Blake and I drove up and stayed a few hours while trying a couple things the midwives recommended. We ended up going out to Wal-mart but having to come back because my contractions got so strong and close together with all the walking after taking the herbs and rubbing oil on my stomach. But after thinking this was really going to be the day they once again got further apart and didn't really do a lot beyond me dialating 1/2 a centimeter after all that time. We decided to just go home and wait it out. Again. I was so tired of it all but also so determined to just let him come when he was good and ready!

On Friday I was worn out and hurting a lot from the day before so just tried to take it easy around the house. Still hoping that things would get started for real before long. I actually ended up not having too many contractions that day though and went to bed discouraged over feeling so bad with no end results of a baby in sight. I just kept thinking that if I got any more tired that I wouldn't have enough strength to even labor well, much less feel like taking care of a newborn afterwards! But since I was dialated to about a 4 and his head was very far down before leaving on Thursday I knew something surely had to happen in the near future so I tried to remember that and keep my hopes up. That was sometimes easier said than done though, of course. Y'all know how those pregnancy hormones and emotions can be!

Okay, sorry to leave you hanging but since this is already a long post I'll have to finish the story later. :-)

*Stay tuned for the rest of the story soon!*


 

He's Finally Here!

For those of you who haven't heard yet, we welcomed our baby boy into the world this past weekend! Proudly introducing......

                                    Daxton Judah
                              08-26-12 @ 8:59 am
                              9 lbs 1 oz, 22 inches

 

(birth story to come soon hopefully.....after we get more rest and snuggles)

The Humorous Side of Birth

Since I'd already posted a pregnancy update for the link-up, I decided to do a seperate post for the discussion question this week. Thought it would be fun to share some of the more light-hearted things from labor and delivery to help us remember it isn't all about pain. (okay, so at the time it probably is if you're going natural but you can look back and remember how funny it was later anyway! haha)

Before I get started let me just say that I will be 39 weeks tomorrow, still having daily contractions, but NO baby yet! This little boy must have decided he just needed to stay put awhile longer. I'm trying to decide if I want to be just as stubborn in waiting him out or maybe try some more natural ways to get things going when I see the midwife? I'll be updating on that again after the checkup tomorrow I guess.

Now for the fun stuff:

1rst birth: This was an inducement (yes, I was young and naive about all that....whole 'nother story) so I had to be hooked up to all kinds of moniters. I remember Blake and my dad getting a kick out of watching the contraction moniter and telling me I was having one before I got my epidural. As if I didn't already know! haha
After they upped the pitocin and I did end up with the pain meds, I tried telling them I was super sensitive to everything and wouldn't need much. They turned the epidural up high anyway so that when the doctor came in for me to push I was extra numb and couldn't feel a thing or even move any part of my lower body. After telling me to put my feet in the stirrups and me not being able to the nurses finally helped get them up there. They evidently didn't take me seriously about having no control over anything though because they promptly let go only to have both legs fall over by themselves. They didn't even look real! lol I remember thinking that was the funniest thing ever to see my legs doing stuff but not being able to feel it or do anything about it. Blake and I still laugh about that all these years later. :-)

2nd birth: With this one we gave birth with a midwife at a birthing house. I had planned on getting in the hot tub they had there to help manage the pain but hadn't given any thought to actually having the baby in the water. Once I got in (I was already a 7) though it evidently relaxed me enough that I dialated quickly to a 10 and started feeling like I needed to push. We decided to just do it in the water rather than me trying to climb out in so much pain, but I was still unsure about it since I hadn't really done any research. In the middle of me pushing her out I looked down and saw her face in the water (she was born "sunny side up"!) and was like, Is she going to be okay like that?! Looking back it was such a silly question since obviously the midwife wouldn't have allowed it if the baby was laying there drowning. Ha! It's crazy how our minds can work in the middle of something like that though. After she came out on the next push and we lifted her up from the water she immediately started peeing everywhere! She loves hearing that story now and it's definitely something I can look back on and laugh about....since I'm not in so much pain anymore. lol

3rd birth: It's a little more challening to find something funny about this one since it was kinda chaotic with us ending up in the hospital rather than doing a homebirth as planned. I do remember laying there strapped to the moniter and begging to be checked to see how far along I was or them just take it off for a few minutes to give me a break because it was so tight during contractions. The nurse of course said no and kept right on asking her million silly questions that had nothing to do with labor! She then stood up and reached over to mess with the straps on my stomach right when I was having a painful contraction....I pushed her hand away and said, don't touch me! haha Totally unlike me really but turns out I was at a 10 and ready to push so was just feeling all those emotions that go along with that. Not to mention that no one would listen to me! Looking back I was able to laugh about telling her off like that. lol
The other thing we thought was funny later is how sore my throat was. I didn't realize how much I hollered while pushing until I had such a scratchy, hoarse voice. Just goes to show how focused I was on the job and not my reaction to the pain I guess. :-)

Well, there's my {hopefully} more humorous side of labor and birth! I can't wait to read some of the others on the link-up. Be sure to click here to see the rest of the updates and
stories. And if you don't have a blog or do the link-up, then feel free to leave a funny birth story in the comments. I'd love to hear it!

Update and Outfit!

Wow, I can't believe another week has passed already! (although I will admit a few of the days did drag by a little since I wasn't feeling well) I actually have a couple other posts in the works but just never finished them so I guess I'll go ahead with another pregnancy update. Seems that's about all I'm getting around to posting these days. Also wanted to include a picture to share about my outfit and let you see how humongously big I've gotten much the baby's grown! :-) Check out the links at the bottom to see who I'm linking up with today as well. Now onto the latest news....

I am now in my 3rd trimester which means I'm a little over 28 weeks along! Woo-hoo! Part of me is amazed that we'll be having another baby in just (approximately) 12 weeks and then another part of me is thinking that day will never get here. Yep, I'm definitely in the last trimester I think. Ha!

The biggest news to share today is that we have officially decided to change from OB to midwife and deliver not at the hospital but a birthing house! I'm so excited to have the opportunity for another "home" birth and can't wait to see what kind of experience we have this time. :-) 

That being said, this also somewhat changes the type of care and treatments we will be doing the rest of the time which thankfully includes no 3 hour glucose test! I am being very careful with my eating now though and keeping a check on my sugar levels here at home. Prayers for it to stay regulated are very much appreciated since it tends to make me feel awful when it flunctuates. The awesome thing is that my midwife is very knowledgeable in this area herself, not only from training but because she is actually a diabetic as well. I was very encouraged just from talking with her!

As for other issues, most are still pretty much the same. Pregnancy isn't normally very easy on me physically so I'm not entirely surprised to be having some problems but it can definitely be hard to deal with at times (especially needing to care for the other kiddos) so prayers for grace and strength are my daily routine at the moment. I'm greatly hoping to finish out this pregnancy without any more major issues and that my own health won't adversely affect the baby. I will be writing more about that later and asking specific prayers for after he is born but for now just praying that God's will is done for us both and that I am able to trust He's taking care of it would be great!

Now on to the picture. This was taken last week so I was one day away from being 28 weeks.

~ I found this shirt on sale at Motherhood Maternity and loved the color. I would prefer a little looser fit but if you've tried looking at any maternity clothes lately you'll know that is something hard to find!
~ The scarf came from Target (another sale item!) and I thought it went perfect with the shirt. I've also worn it with a white blouse as well so it's nice to be able to use it with more than one thing.
~ This skirt isn't actually maternity and I can't even remember where I got it at the moment since it's been a few years. (sorry!) It's one of the bubble skirts and has a stretchy waist so can still be worn underneath my growing belly.
Overall I'm pretty pleased with how this outfit turned out. It isn't always easy finding things that fit and are modest so it's always fun to have something you like while pregnant!

So there's my update and outfit post for the week. Looking forward to these next few weeks going by and hopefully getting some things done before Daxton arrives! I will be updating until then though so stay tuned. :-)

(Linking up with My Joy Filled Life and The Modest Mom today. Be sure to go read some of the other great posts on those blogs as well!)

Darcey's Birth Story #2

*if you haven't read the first part of the story yet then click here*

I obviously still wasn't able to get comfortable enough to sleep since the contractions were harder than ever(which by the way the midwife told me were probably not real and just a product of an over-stimulated uterus)and made even more so by me trying to go to bed. I ended up deciding to try a warm bath around 11 and Blake was up with me so we could talk about things and try to decide what to do. He was timing the contractions and they were still just all over the place, but really starting to hurt even more. I was still second guessing it so much though because of all the midwife had told me that I hadn't even called her back again yet because I just didn't want to be told that it didn't sound serious or she didn't think it was the real thing until I was totally convinced it was. As I was getting out of the bathtub I ended up having a couple of contractions about 7 minutes apart that just felt different than before and was actually a stranger and worse pain in some ways than what I rememberd with my last birth. I suddenly got this feeling like I wanted to be seen now and not wait to call the midwife, try to talk her into coming, and then wait at least another hour and a half for her to make the drive. At this point, I was also so tired and hurting so badly that I wasn't sure if I could make it much longer if this was going to keep on like that indefinitely. As determined as I was to not use any medicines because of how badly I reacted before I was willing to try something if I thought it would be best for the baby and help me relax enough for her to come sooner if need be.

So Blake and I talked about it a couple of minutes and checked in with the hospital and decided that it was probably best just to go there and find out what was going on rather than dealing with the midwife again at this point. I woke up mom and let her know what we were doing and then started getting a few things together. I knew I was hurting pretty badly at this point, but just wasn't saying much about it or timing the contractions anymore. Mom came into the bedroom to see if we needed her to do anything and to discuss what they were going to do about coming to the hospital if I ended up staying, etc. She had only been in there a few minutes before she asked was I not having several close together and I realized that I hadn't really thought about it! She said we could just go ahead and she would bring whatever else we needed later so we kinda just dropped everything and headed out. I think we made the drive in a little over 15 minutes and I ended up counting 4 contractions during that time so they were definitely closer and more regular now!

We got there and had to go through the crazy process of trying to get someone to listen to us and then actually do something about getting me into labor and delivery. Then we get upstairs and the nurse makes me lay flat down on my back so she can hook me up to a moniter and sits down at a computer where she proceeds to ask me a million crazy questions that honestly had nothing to do with me giving birth that I could tell. I kept trying to ask about getting checked, getting up and then finally said that if they weren't going to do any of that then just GET ME SOME PAIN MEDICATION!! Unfortunately for me they didn't take me seriously either and thought I was probably just in the early stages of labor, although they should have known something was going on from the way I started acting.....I mean, who would be that upset unless they were close to giving birth??!!  They tried calling the anethesiologist and couldn't get him. They also tried calling the doctor and didn't get her either, but they weren't seeming all that worried about it because they thought we had plenty of time. You know since they weren't bothering to check me and make sure!

Finally she finished up asking me everything and said she would see how things were going. At which point she looked very stunned and said that we probably weren't going to need the anethesilogist anyway since I was already a 10. Her next words of course were that I couldn't push because the doctor hadn't gotten there yet, to which I replied, "That's not my problem!" Let's just say that I was not my normal nice speaking self at the moment. In fact, I'm pretty sure at some point that I slapped the nurses hand away from my stomach and told her not to touch me again.....and that is so unlike my usual behaviour! lol That could have also been partly due to the fact that she was the one who had the moniter straps done around me too tightly and wouldn't take them off and it was pure torture to have them on during a contraction. I wasn't entirely happy with the whole situation at the moment and was just ready for somebody to do something to help me! The doctor made it about that time and another nurse(who happened to be a man which was a little strange at first)and everything was ready to go. I was still horribly uncomfortable being on my back and was practically begging to just be able to do something different. The male nurse asked me what I wanted to do(yes, he was actually the only one who listened and tried to help me!)and I replied that I wanted to try squatting on the bed while pushing so it wouldn't hurt as much. To my utter amazement he was totally fine with the idea and the doctor didn't seem to have any objections either! Unfortunately that only lasted for about 2 pushes and they had to lay me back down because the moniters were messing up and the baby's heartrate seemed to be dropping. Thankfully I only had to push through a couple more contractions while laying down though and she was there!! My water actually broke while pushing right before she came out which was kinda neat since I wasn't sure if it had yet or not. I think if I'd had to push a little longer I would have perfected the whole grunting type scream that helps you push better as opposed to the shrill, bloody murder type screaming that doesn't really do anything except make you hoarse afterwards kind. (I wish I was kidding, but I really am not.....besides, that kind of pain really isn't anything to joke about! At least until several years after the fact.;)  

To sum it all up, it was a crazy day/night and more than a little stressful but we're just thankful that Darcey was born safely and that things went as well as what they did. She actually did have the cord around her neck,which is what I figure kept the contractions so sporadic and her movement and my pain so odd for that long but of course don't know that for sure. They had to give her a little oxygen right after birth but it was nothing serious and she was otherwise perfect! I was a little dissapointed to not have another home birth since we loved the experience of that with Delancey, but I think after the way things went we ended up in the best place we could have been. Especially seeing how she was born in a little over an hour from when we decided to go to the hospital and the midwives probably wouldn't have made it! I can only imagine how stressful that would have been. All in all, the hospital experience ended up being okay too I guess even if it wasn't what we expected. So there it is finally....the wonderful, unforgettable story of how Darcey Ella came into the world! Hope you enjoyed reading about it. I'll try to share some of what's been going on since then soon. :-)

Darcey's Birth Story #1

The moment I know you've all been waiting for.....when I finally get around to writing about what happened when Darcey was born. But first let me say that I can't believe it's already been over seven weeks ago...this year has flown by so quickly it doesn't even seem real that it's almost Christmas again! And then again some of the days with her being so sick and crying all the time have seemed to last forever. But that's a post for another day I think. Okay, now that's been said, on to the story.......

As most of you probably already know I had been having contractions for several weeks, some of them strong enough that we actually thought she might come early.(HA!) There were more than a couple of times that I honestly thought it was the beginnings of the real thing, but it always slacked off and eventually stopped after awhile. Needless to say though I was getting worn out by how my body was doing and the lack of sleep I was able to get. Then comes my due date and we were just sure it would be any time now....but were we ever wrong! The days creeped slowly by and with each one I woke up and went to bed wondering if this would be it? Not to mention that I begin trying just about everything I'd heard of to naturally induce labor to no avail.

Let me back up for a second to mention that although I had seen a doctor in Huntsville for most of this pregnancy, my heart was still wanting another homebirth like we were able to have with Delancey. Our only concerns with that were that I had some health issues that I didn't then which we weren't sure if the birthing process would cause to worsen and also that I went so quickly the last time that if it this one was any quicker we might not be able to drive to Tennessee. (which is where most midwives are certified to give birth) As it turned out one of the midwives who is not technically certified by the state agreed to come here to our house whenever I went into labor and see how things were progressing instead of us making the decision to drive alone to TN and Blake have to deliver the baby by himself in the car! And then of course we were all kinda expecting to just end up giving birth here if it went as quickly as we thought and things were going normally....which was fine with me since I thought it would be great to just stay home. We also knew that Dr. Cimino would be willing to deliver in the hospital as a back-up plan if something went wrong or we changed our minds so we were pretty comfortable with the whole idea.

Back to the whole waiting game....the due date has come and gone several days past and I'm starting to think Darcey is never going to show up! Then I wake up at 12 am the morning of the 23rd having a contraction that hurt. Alot. It just felt different than the ones I had been having before. I ended up getting out of bed and walking around thinking of things I needed to do if this was the real thing. Then I leaked some fluid and started having a bloody show so I was pretty convinced she would be coming soon! I woke Blake up just to let him know and called the midwife just to give her a heads up and ask a couple of questions. We ended up trying to lay back down but although my contractions were still pretty far apart and sporadic when they did come the pain was bad enough that I just couldn't sleep. (needless to say it was a really long night!) Dathan was supposed to play his last game of flag football that morning and I was torn between wanting to go and worried that things would start progressing too quickly once we got there. At this point some of the contractions were 10 minutes apart and still pretty hard but just didn't stay regular enough for me to think it was close to being serious yet. So we figured I could go ahead and try going as long as I was able to get ready.

Fast forward through the game and the awards ceremony after it was over and I've now been in what I was pretty sure was labor for several hours. And totally confused as to why the contractions were so hard at times but never staying consistent for long. I talked to the midwife a couple more times and was more than a little dissapointed in her reaction to what I was going through. (and the fact that she actually had the nerve to suggest I come to her for a checkup...an hour and a half away from my house!) She just kinda kept acting like she wasn't so sure it was the real thing and telling me I didn't sound like I was labor yet.....although at 11 days overdue I'm not totally sure what else she thought it could be?! We told her we weren't comfortable with getting on the road for that long in case it did turn into something quickly and although she said offered to come to us she also acted as though it would be a wasted trip and mentioned that she'd have to charge us extra to do so. At this point I was getting a little irritated and even more so just confused by some of the things she was telling me. I felt like I was really in labor and wanted them here to keep a check on things(which was what they got paid for!)and she kept acting like we should put off them coming for as long as possible and wait until I showed more obvious labor signs. But my question was, what if there aren't any until too late for you to get here??!!

She had suggested I try laying down and resting that afternoon and then we'd talk about them coming over and seeing if we could do some more things to encourage the labor along, but was also adamant that I not try anything by myself in case it did cause something to happen quickly. My contractions still weren't any more regular at that point, but I was still feeling them enough that I couldn't fall asleep.(they actually got alot harder if I tried to lay down at all) I waited until about 6 and called my parents to come over to watch the kids and then the midwife to let her know I was feeling like they were getting harder even if they weren't close or regular yet and I was more than ready to try some stuff. But unfortunately for me she had decided that maybe it was best if we kept waiting to see what would happen on it's on and since I hadn't slept and she was really tired too then we should probably just try to go on to bed if nothing happened by 9 or so. On top of that she even told me a couple of things I should do to try to relax me and actually STOP the contractions! Needless to say I was not only shocked, but even more confused than before since I was getting such mixed signals from her than what I felt like myself. I ended up getting so upset that I just agreed and didn't insist on her coming anyway... which looking back is what I definitely should have done.....

*don't miss reading the rest of the story on the next post! click here to finish*